on being a mommy

My babies are growing up so quickly.

I was folding laundry tonight and got a little sappy thinking about how little their clothes are now and how big they will soon be.  I want to fold little bitty tights for forever. I don’t want them to grow up.

It makes me cry to think that I haven’t taken full advantage of these little years. 

Being a mommy to little ones is a constant and often exhausting job. Not exhausting in the sense that it is the hardest job out there – I am beyond thankful that I get to be home with my kids and never wish to complain about my ‘job’ – but exhausting in that I am always on. There is always someone to assist or entertain or comfort or discipline. Not a lot of time to be quiet with my own thoughts or to start and finish a task in one sitting. 

Tonight I was cleaning and re-arranging downstairs as the boys played {wonderfully} upstairs.  I so appreciated the few moments to get things done, all the while knowing that they were destroying the playroom and that I would soon have to focus on cleaning that room.  It never ends.

And, honestly, sometimes I want it to. 

Sometimes I want to just stay in bed.

Sometimes I want to take a shower without interruption.

Or eat my breakfast first.

{ooooh, I’m sounding terribly selfish – please tell me you understand}

I want to listen to my music rather than Psalty.

I want to go shopping and actually try things on instead of just buying blindly and bringing them home to try on {and then, inevitably, returning most of it because nothing fits}.

I want to clean the floors and have them stay that way longer than 30 minutes.

But do I really? Is a life of focused shopping and cleanliness and sleeping in really better?

I’ve had so many friends and acquaintances struggle with infertility and it always makes me stop and think.  We are so fortunate to have our four children.  There are many who don’t have any and would give anything to have just one, and here I am with four and whining about how they disrupt my breakfast.

If you are a mommy, I know you know how I feel. We love our babies, but could use a break.  For a week. Preferably at a tropical location.

While I sometimes feel a bit overwhelmed by this enormous task of raising kids {all the while maintaining a healthy marriage, hobbies and friendships} I want to remember to cherish these times with my darlings. 

My silly boys who make horses out of wrapping paper tubes and play knights {with only one costume, hence the shirtless knight}.

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Sweet little voices that sing songs to their baby sister.

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Little innocent eyes.

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These goofy kiddos who think making silly faces is one of the greatest pastimes ever.

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And, of course, their complete sweetness as they sleep.

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They are wonderful kids and I have the great honor of being their mommy. I hope I am doing a good job : and I hope I can take time every day to just enjoy where we are at {however dirty and disorderly it may be}.

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5 Responses to on being a mommy

  1. Ellen Hoffman June 14, 2010 at 9:55 am #

    Emily,
    Thanks for introducing me to your blog site.
    I can so appreciate and understand these words on mothering so connectedly!!!

    I am in the stage where they no longer say, “mommy, mommy, mommy, look at me!” But they say, “Why do you have to know EVERYTHING I am doing?”And “Why do you care what I am THINKING and FEELING when you know a boy has talked to me or rejected me?”

    I have written poems on growing older in the mirror while your beautiful young daughters fret over a small, unnoticable blemish.

    But as meloncholy as that may sound, IT is ALL worth it. And when I think of how deep my love and respect continues to grow for my own mother who is growing old so gracefully, I get excited to continue to grow older with my own daughters and teach them it is not scarey or sad or a time of loneliness.It is beautiful and wonderful and precious, every single day!

    God is amazing and good all the time! He is with me and with my children who are testing and challenging life just as I have.

    Life truly is GOOD.
    Ellen

  2. Kristi July 4, 2010 at 10:49 am #

    Thanks for this post. I truly know just what you mean. Mine are 5 and 6 now and life is a little easier. But do cherish when the are little for it will be over in a blink. Life just goes so fast when you have kids!

  3. kelly g August 17, 2010 at 5:53 pm #

    Emily, I just found your site today, and now that my kiddos (Ethan, 6; Ava, 3; Aubryn, 11 months) are in bed for the night, I have been able to read your posts back until this point. :)

    After reading this particular entry I knew I needed to comment- I feel as though you have written (to the letter!) what has gone through my mind so many times throughout the years (except for your “un-interrupted shower” comment… Some days it would just be nice to get a shower!). ;) I would also substitute my “Adventures in Odyssey” for your “Psalty”. :) We are blessed so that I’m able to stay home with the kids- which is wonderful- but those days can get long sometimes when one kid is grouchy and the other one’s feeling left out and the baby is teething and my (youth pastor) husband has a late meeting. On those days I remind myself that my kids come first- my family is my ministry- and I need to savor every second because although the days may seem long, the weeks and years go by way too quickly!

    Aaaaanywaaaay, all this to say that I can relate. I understand, and I’m so glad to know there’s someone out there who understands, as well! I just don’t know how you carry on your amazing business on top of it all. You must be SuperMom, hahaa.

    Thank you for your honesty. Thank you for sharing your faith so clearly and openly. And thank you for such amazing, seriously beautiful, crafty ideas that will give me something to do with my precious “me” time- ultimately saving my sanity. And for helping to save my sanity, my sweet family thanks you. ;)

  4. Natasha Metzler January 24, 2013 at 10:26 am #

    As someone who does not have the children I desire… thank you for this. For encouraging women to treasure what they do have. (Me included!) And to not get lost in longing for something different.

  5. Sohaila January 22, 2014 at 12:44 am #

    Dear Emily
    It is great that you are concern about your children so much.
    I am from Iran. A Country in Middle East. It is ridiculous that in my country a lot of women try to live like a woman in developed country. so they try to do not have a child. Instead they feel lucky when they have BMW, Porsche, Lamborghini, villas and a lot of jewelry and spend most of their time in beauty salon and party but they are not happy. You are creative and which better than use your talent for rising up your children.

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