I am a big fan of blogs
I write a blog. And I do love it.
But before I was a blogger, I was a reader of blogs. Lots of them. And I still am.
My intention with this post was to share a list of the blogs that I love … and that will come … but I feel this need to share something else instead. Something not quite as fluffy as blogs I love, but probably important to say since it’s been on my heart for quite some time.
Comparison. Insecurity. Self-righteousness.
Ugh.
My best friend says that blogs are like pornography for women. Now don’t be offended. I know that it’s a pretty raunchy comparison, but bear with me. The thing about pornography that traps so many is the lure of something almost reality. The women are gorgeous and tight, they’ll say what you want to hear and do what your wildest dreams could only imagine. They give you promise of something so good, but always leave you feeling inadequate, let down, and unsatisfied with your true reality. And yet that promise is so tantalizing, you keep coming back for more.
The same can be true of blog-reading. It all looks so good and attractive, is inspiring and encouraging {even addicting}, but you often walk away feeling inadequate, let down and unsatisfied with your true reality.
We get so absorbed in and enchanted by the life of whosever blog we’re reading that when we step back from the computer and look around at the beautiful mess that is our real life, we feel like we don’t measure up.
How many times have I had these thoughts …
I wish I was as creative as Ashley Ann.
If only my house looked like Erika’s.
I will never be as full of wisdom as Angie.
Or as chic as Seleta.
Or as clever as Kasey.
Or as good a mom as Meg.
and on and on and on.
I don’t know these ladies, but in my few interactions with them I can say that none of them intend to make others feel this way. They are beautiful women who are simply sharing their lives.
But this is the problem with blogs. We present what we want to {typically only the best of life} and put on a front that we have it all together. Of course that is what I want to write about. Who wants to read about my bad hair day and the bad attitude that followed? Or the frustration I feel when I just want to eat my own breakfast and wish my children would leave me alone for five minutes!? Sometimes posts like that happen, but the majority of them are happy, clean and pretty.
What breaks my heart, sweet reader, is that in my attempt to share the best of my life with you, perhaps I have left you feeling somehow inadequate.
That your home doesn’t measure up. Or your talents. Or your children {or lack thereof}.
And that is truly not my intention.
My maiden name is Jones and I find it quite ironic that my biggest struggle of all is comparison.
You know, the whole keeping up with the Joneses thing?
Oh, how I am completely aware of it in my own life.
It is a constant struggle for me to be able to look at other’s successes and be genuinely happy for them without that little nudge of insecurity to creep in. And on the other side, it is a challenge for me to look at my own successes and not feel like I am somehow better than another.
To be in that place where I am fully confident in who God made me to be and have no need to compare myself is where I am headed, but I am not yet there.
I read this devotion to my children months ago and it has stuck with me:
“Stop comparing yourself to other people. When you compare yourself to others, you end up either feeling that you’re better than they are, or feeling bad about yourself. Neither of those things is what I want for you.
I created each of My children with unique talents. And I have given each of you your own road to follow. So it is useless to compare yourself to someone else – that person has a completely different path to follow.
When you want to feel good about yourself, remember how much I love you. Remember that I made you just the way I want you to be. And remember that I died so you could have My salvation. You are a jewel in My crown.”
Isn’t that good? Written for little ones, but pierces my soul with its truth.
So this is what I am trying to say …
I love reading blogs. There are so many ridiculously creative, talented, wise women who I am daily inspired by. And I want so much to be able to leave their little corner of the web feeling encouraged rather than defeated. That is a decision that is completely up to me. It is all about confidence … knowing who I am and whose I am.
At the same time, I want my little corner that is Jones Design Company to be a place where you can also come to be encouraged and inspired. I try my best to be my genuine self and I hope you know that while I try to be as honest as possible, this is not the perfect representation of me and my life. I am terrible at making meals. My closet is a wreck. I like crass jokes and am very goofy in real life. I cry at stupid things {like the beluga whales doing tricks at the zoo} and I haven’t opened my bible in a week.
I love reading blogs. And I will share with you a list of some of my favorites. But I just wanted to get it out on the table that sometimes I struggle mightily with feeling insecure when I read these blogs. I’m not sure if you feel the same way, but I’m guessing that since women can be very insecure creatures, perhaps you can identify.
But just remember {and I say this to myself as well} that you were made to be you. Not Ashley Ann or Meg or Seleta {who are all delightful, I am sure}, but just you.
You are a jewel in His crown.



















Lauren Rund
Your post almost paralleled the book I am reading by Beth Moore, ” So long insecurity”. I recommend to ALL WOMEN. Even women who tell me that they don’t have insecurity problems, (which indeed they most likely do). Please read if you are looking for an inspirationally honest read. Its most filling to the heart who is longing for value in a world that sells cheap pleasure and demeans women quicker than an ice cube is currently melting in Texas….
Valerie
Wow! Couldnt of said it better if I tried!!!!!!!!!! I think very blogger should read this and enjoy-rejoice in who they are!! Thank you for putting into words what me-and many others have thought or felt!!
Lori May
Thank you for this post. It was so beautifully written. I am writing down that devotional and putting it on my mirror, so that I can read it every day.
Take care,
Lori
http://www.lorimayinteriors.com/blog
Marissa
Wow. Really great stuff. It’s funny, because I just read a study that was put out that said that Facebook is making people unhappier. They shared that people always put up the fun things about their life (who takes a pic of them with their crazy hair every night at 3am when their child wakes up habitually?)…the date they went on , the flowers their man bought them, the bathroom that they redid (with money I don’t have to spend on a guest bathroom), etc. This is once again a good reminder. Thanks for that…
Becky
What a fine line it is to walk, between love and hate. This was beautifully written. Thank You.
Ashley
Thank you for such a beautiful and truthful note. I agree tenfold and wish of many of my friends would read your post. Thanks for the encouragement. I love your blog too by the way!!
Jennifer
yahoo! Bring it on down Emily. Thanks for stating what we’ve all felt! Interesting parallel with the pornography; so right! Yikes.
Becky
I just started following your blog, and I just wanted to comment on what a beautiful post this was:) Your projects are inspiring and it’s wonderful to hear the “real” people behind the blogs!
melissa
yes, we all share that same struggle. as much as i hate it and wish that i didn’t…i’m right there with you. and my mother was a jones as well…fitting.
thanks for your vulnerability. the truth is much needed, friend, and well received. beautiful post.
Tara Taggart
Beautiful. I <3 your blog, decorating, tutorials, giveaways, your store (darn't all of it)!
But, one of the things that always resignate with me are your posts about the imperfect. I appreciate your openess with us all, and your efforts to ensure we (your readers) realize the truth in our lives and yours. Thank you, and God bless!
alison
Wow! It’s like you read my mind. I’ve been composing a post like this in my head over the past few weeks, but just couldn’t get it right. You said it all perfectly. Thank you!
Emily
Preach it sister
I’m so glad that you’ve posted this entry. You are so talented just like so many other of the women that you mentioned, yet somehow we can fall short in our own eyes in an instant. C.S. Lewis said it right: comparison is the thief of joy – and boy, how true it is.
Thank you for using your position as a fabulous blogger to be vulnerable to the ones who follow you!!
{I felt the urge to share this with the Twitter world as well! @EmmaLeeMadge: So happy that Emily Jones {of #JonesDesignCo.} wrote this post about blogging – talk about bein’ real! http://bit.ly/q5CGZo}
Emily
Emily, this post was exactly what I needed to hear. I feel like God is really working on me in this area of my life and you’re right … it’s such a fine line. Thank you for sharing! -Emily
Brandy
Wonderful post. Thanks for sharing your heart. You did a great job comparing the two. How true it is….such a vicious cycle! Blessings to you.
Beth
Oh wow! Thanks for this post! I also love blogging. And you are so right about comparing to the others whose blogs I read! You are dead on sister! Thank you so much for your transparency
Tracey Ireland
By far one of the best blog posts I have read on any of the many blogs I visit! Thank you for reminding me whose I am and to keep things in His perspective!
shawna [of styleberryBLOG]
Emily–so well said! I find it terribly uncomfortable when approached in public & told how others don’t measure up & I want to just scream “that is so not what this is all about!!!” Love your words & find your craftiness incredibly inspiring! & the honesty–I only read blogs with real people behind them. Yours is one of the few on my list.
Off to share this gem with my readers…
Emily
Oh my. I have wrestled with this same blog issue. At one point I thought I was going to have to give up blog reading all together because my sense of “real” was becoming skewed by too many perfectly packaged lives.
Thanks for your honesty, and thanks for sharing the beauty of your life not to compare to, but to be inspired by.
LLH Designs
Amen and amen. It’s all about knowing who we are in Him. The enemy will whsiper lies and attempt to deceive us every time we read blogs, flip through magazines or peer into a friend’s nice new house. But the truth of who we are in Christ is more powerful than anything the enemy can throw out in a blog or I this world. Claiming that truth and power is a daily deal for me. Keeps me grounded!
Blessings,
Linsey
LLH Designs
And one more thing to add: it helps me to remember it’s not the blog writer’s intent to create envy or insecurity. That’s the deceptive, accusational, condemning tactic of the enemy. And when I remember that my King Jesus came to crush that enemy, I am free!
Daydra
Emily:
Thank you for this beautiful post; it made me a bit weepy! I totally relate and although I adore looking at blogs, sometimes I look at my own surroundings, and feel, well, not quite good enough. What a beautiful reminder of our unique value! I really needed this today. Thanks!
Alicia Manning
This post is so beautifully written! I have always felt inadequate after reading peoples blogs. But never yours. You have always taken what is in your heart and posted. Giving me a sense of reality that yes other do feel the same way. So Thank you for being so bold to post this!
Lori Ann
Thanks Emily!!! You put into words what we have all felt! I read a quote on another great blog that describes it perfectly, “Comparison is the thief of Joy.” Why do we do it to ourselves!
~Lori Ann
Natalie
I don’t even know what to say except for wow! Thank you for that..I have been feeling exactly the same way. Love the message and will be reading that to my children and putting it in a place in my home so we can be reminded of who we are and who created us.
Ande
“Those who look to Him are radiant, their faces are never covered with shame” Psalm 34:5
I think the your a jewel in my crown is amazing. I interpret that to be you are one of many, but unique and special. Just like being part of the body of Christ. Thank you for your gifts to the world. I am glad God let’s us dance in a way that we want and rejoices in all of it equally. Blessings.
Mariko
Absolutely needed to hear this right now. Thank you so much for sharing!
Evelyn
Emily, your honesty is much appreciated and relatable. I love reading your blog and I find your creativity inspiring. You have a beautiful family and the messages you write are truthful and genuine. I appreciate the time you take posting your pictures and writing about your life. Thank you for your sincerity!
-Evelyn
suzanne
Well said! I got to the point where I had to stop reading so many blogs for a while, because it was less motivating, less inspirational…….I was comparing.
Thanks for the TRUE inspiration!
Suzanne
Adrienne
This is very well written and very true. I LOVE that little devotion you posted! Thanks so much!
Helena
You read my mind (got the link to your post via twitter @KnittyBitties
thank you for this awesome post! Linked back to my blog so each time i need motivation i’ll have it handy.
Eileen Pandolfo
I literally happened upon your blog today. I rarely leave comments anywhere online, but I felt like I needed to this time. I just wanted to say thank you. It’s really nice to know I’m not alone!
Tiffany Day
Oh Emily – written so incredibly well – so well! I personally do not have a blog – but I read many and yes am a bit addicted! I do walk away feeling inadequate and like my life is flat – however over time I have realized that reading written words can be interpreted so many ways – so as a reader we have to give the blogger the benefit of the doubt and NOT assume things about them. We should realize that blogs are not the WHOLE person – I don’t think any blogger can completely and 100% blog about every aspect of their life and they probably shouldn’t. While I do get insecure and roll my eyes at some of the things I read – i quickly remember that the blogger I just read is a women and/or a mother too and even a wife – and its not my place to judge or even make assumptions – I read to be incourged and inspired – to get lots of ideas and yes at times to be entertained. I am so thankful for the MANY blogs I have found and all they remind me of, show me, teach me and all the lovely things they bring to my life! And you are one of them Emily!
I so appreciate you sharing your heart in this post – at the end of the day, we are who we are – loved and cherished and important – thank you for what you bring to your blog and helping us make our lives prettier.
xoTiffany
Patrice Longmire
You have written beautifully how I have felt so much in the land of blog. In trying to be real and grow on this journey I often feel so untalented and uninspiring comparing myself to all of you talented girls! My husband once reminded me that you can be anyone you want on a blog…. It is not necessarily reality. You completely were spot on with this post. Thank you again for your honesty.
Abbey Lewis
Thank you for saying that… I struggle with that same gut feeling every day. The feeling like I don’t measure up, always wanting to do more or be more… I find complete solace in my devotional books and songs!!!! I love your blog and appreciate your honesty!!!
Always – Abbey
Melissa
Thank you! Very well written and a sweet reminder!
lori
this is exactly how i feel when i read someone’s blog or facebook status. thanks for being so candid!
Kristen
I look forward to your blog posts every day! I appreciate your honesty and being real, something that we all struggle with. You have inspired me time and time again, and I come back to you for ideas time and time again.
I also enjoy reading your blog because you obviously have a relationship with Jesus, and that is most important. So thanks for sharing. You’re still my favorite.
amber
ah! it’s like you got inside my head and said what i so often feel… thanks for your transparency. i came originally from ann’s blog, but now i’m bookmarking! i think i’m gonna like you.
Amy
Thanks for the great inspiring message! I teach at a Christian school and will share that devotion with my parents. It hurts me when parents and students are playing the comparing game. Sad to say, society places such an emphasis on ACT scores and GPAs that comparing has become a way of society. In my home and classroom I remind the kids “just do your best and you will be blessed!” God gives us a variety of people in our life to learn from each other. Thank you for believing that and sharing that feeling with all of us!
kendra
This is my first time ever visiting your blog. What an amazing post to find on my first visit here. I’ll most definitely be back!
Jami
YOU ARE SO RIGHT!!! I am indeed ‘inspired and encouraged’ by JDC each time I visit so THANK YOU!
Ashleigh
Thank you for that post! You know yesterday my sister-in-law and I were just talking about how blogs and some websites like pinterest and others can leaving you feel discontent with the reality of our own lives and how dangerous that can be because it’s the same thing as shaking your fist at God and being unthankful for what He has provided.
I want to encourage you that following your blog has never made me feel that way, you come across like such a real and honest person. AND I really appreciate that you are a christian and not ashamed of it.
But I have been founding myself comparing my lot in life among family members. My husband and I are one year married now and he is training to be a Pastor and right now finances are tight but with your tutorials (and others) I am working on making our little house a cozy and beautiful little home and inexpensively! It’s awesome! So thank you for sharing your creative ideas
So basically I want to say thank you for this encouraging note and sharing your heart with us readers!
Jen @ Sunny Vanilla
Please don’t take this in a stalkery way, but I wish I could call you my friend! I wish I knew more gals like you. I love your honesty, your creativity, and your touching devotionals and quotes. I couldn’t have read this at a better time. I recently started blogging and just opened an etsy shop too and when I “compare” my views and followers with other blogs that started around the same time as me I feel inadequate. I really have to tell my brain to separate myself from all of that. I think people love to see the creative eye candy of others but I also think a lot of us like to see the keepin’ it real stuff as well. I think we relate more to that…empty fridges, toys strewn everywhere, the tiny cramped closets some of us work from, and pictures of our kids in their t-shirts and diapers. We can laugh at that! So thank you!!!
Kimberly
Beautiful – an excellent reminder to rejoice in who we are, celebrate what is special in our own lives, and let go of envy – we can use our blog voices to inspire and encourage one another – and you’ve done that with this post. Thank you!
susan
(Applause, applause). Its so easy to put you on a pedestal, and feel like grunge. (And seeing you in person made your pedestal even higher!) I’m grateful for your courage to speak the truth! You’ve helped us to “twirl” once again! hugs!
PamK
So true. I was feeling this way last week and I just needed to take a break from reading them so thank you for the encouragement.
Laura-Lea
Thanks for the straight forward truth about blogs. I love reading them but with everything in life it is about balance and keeping things in prespective.
I appreciated a few weeks ago you showed pictures of your house and how you were going to have company and that you had lots to tidy and clean. You showed an everyday picture into most of our worlds with children and the chaos of our everyday full lives. It made you more real and genuine. Keep sharing and inspiring from your heart:)
Sue
What a thoughtful and well-written post. I think it is human nature to try to show our best face to the world. Thank you for sharing your life through your blog.
Ali
Great post! Thank you…sometimes you just need to hear it from someone else to know that you are not alone in those thoughts and feelings. You rock
Courtney
I’m so glad you shared this. Comparing myself to other accomplished/beautiful women is definitely a major struggle of mine. Thank you.