My parents divorced when I was 20.
I know they say that adult children deal with divorce better than younger ones – and that probably is true to a point – but it sure doesn’t feel good or easy or right even when you’re grown and out of the house.
Let me back up for a second …
My childhood was just about as good as I could have ever asked for. I am the middle of three girls, our parents were young and fun, we lived in family-friendly neighborhoods with good schools and activities nearby. We grew up close to our grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins spending a lot of time with them for holidays, sleepovers, every chance we could. We had traditions and memories, vacations and love. Truly, I could not have asked for a better childhood.
Which I think is what made the break-up of our family even more difficult to deal with.
A handful of factors led to that devastating moment when my dad made the choice to leave us. It never made sense to me – maybe it still doesn’t – how a man who adored his family and did everything he could to protect and provide for us could make the choice to walk away. I don’t think he knew what the true consequences were going to be. Maybe if he did, he would have chosen differently. I’d like to think so.
It still stings all these years later. I’ve healed a ton, but gosh my heart is still fragile. I miss him and feel sad and let down and even though I know their divorce was not my fault, I still can’t get over the feeling that maybe we just weren’t worth enough for him to choose us.
I don’t know why I’m telling you this. I guess I’ve just been struggling with some of the long-lasting issues that come with feeling not-chosen and it seems like something I should confess. Maybe you feel rejection in your life, too?
There is a whole string of moments throughout my life when I’ve felt rejected. Some are big ones (like my dad leaving) others more insignificant (not getting an invite to a party, feeling like a tag-along) and over the course of this year, they have all flooded back into my memory. WHY? Why now? What am I to do with these ugly-feeling memories and how am I supposed to grow from them?
It hit a low-point in Rwanda this summer when my soul nearly broken in two because nobody sat next to me on the bus. I know! I’m 35 years old and crying because the seat next to me was not taken?!! It felt ridiculous and yet, it felt real. That little moment broke me (well, the whole week was filled with every emotion, so I was already pretty broken, this just made the final crack). Thankfully, I had a dream-team of new friends there who spoke truth and honesty back into me and helped me see that:
1. even though I do have some decent-sized rejection issues to deal with
2. I am chosen
If I only look for all the times I’ve felt rejected, I’ll find plenty. And the truth is, it will continue for always. Over and over again I will not be chosen – that is just part of this life. I can surround myself with people who love and accept me, but even they will let me down at some point. It’s not something I want to fear and dwell on, but if I put all of my hope in my husband or kids or parents or blog readers always choosing me, I will have set myself up for disappointment.
I’m still working through my rejection issues. I don’t know why they have tumbled into my memory this year or what exactly I am to do with them. All I’ve been able to figure out is that I get to choose what I believe. If I linger too long in these memories playing over and over the hurt, the words, the feelings, I’ll almost always come to the conclusion that I’m not worth choosing.
If instead, I take my eyes off of myself and focus on Jesus, I’ll see this most gracious God who himself took on the highest form of rejection in order to set me free. He gave up his life so that I could be deemed worthy. It blows my mind and doesn’t make sense and this fragile heart of mine is still trying to let it soak in.
“But you are the ones chosen by God, chosen for the high calling of priestly work, chosen to be a holy people, God’s instruments to do his work and speak out for him, to tell others of the night-and-day difference he made for you—from nothing to something, from rejected to accepted.” 1 peter 2:9-10 (the message)
So this is what I’ll do. I’ll stand in his promise and tell others of the ways He has redeemed my story, our family, our hearts.
Life can be so hard, can’t it? It just hurts sometimes. But God’s grace offers us acceptance and peace and I’m so grateful for it.
I was so encouraged by the Message version of this verse – especially that last line – that I made up an artprint to hang on my wall. You are welcome to download and print these 5×7 prints as well. May the words encourage you today, my friends, wherever you are.
xo, emily
(To download the prints, log in or sign up for The Archive below)
Thank you for sharing your pain. This print is even more meaningful because of your scars.
Hi,
You’re incredibly brave to have created this post. So many Believers leave their faith out of what they do. I wish we could meet over a cup of tea; so that can tell you how wonderful you are and how your work will multiply exponentially as it will be shared and passed along to sooo many. The greatest part of your work is sharing your faith in Jesus Christ.
I,too, have a hurt that was created when I was a child and rears it’s ugly head from time to time. For me, it’s betrayal. I am much more sensitive when I experience this form of hurt versus all the others. At these times I want to crawl into a hole and throw the covers over my head and stay that way. When that doesn’t make me feel better, my logical side takes over and I know how to fix it. PRAY and read Scripture. I include prayers for the one who’s betrayed me. Reading Scripture always calms me and puts my mind and heart into focus of how I should be.
Thank you for being so honest and transparent. This was a beautiful post. I believe many people can relate to this. I sure can! And I absolutely love that we get inspiration artwork with it! I will be downloading these and using them in my office.
That was quite a story. I forget that there are people out there that feel as I do. I had a difficult time reading most of it. The tears kept getting in the way. You said you didn’t know why you were writing that. It was God leading you to do so. Thank you for being obedient. I’ve wrestled with rejection and fear of rejection all of my life. I’ve missed out on a lot in my life because of rejection. I am an artist too. I allowed that fear of rejection to keep me from the desire of my heart which was (is) to design and create. I’ve wanted to do Christian greeting cards and posters, etc. Praise God you haven’t let rejection do the same to you. I’m glad I found your blog. Again, thank you.
Hi Cynthia, I have just stumbled on Emily Jones’ awesome website and her heartfelt post “chosen”. I scrolled down to Reply and saw this comment from you.
I wanted to let you know, if you do Facebook, there is a wonderful FB group you can join called Documented Faith. It was started by Stephanie Ackerman Jan 1, 2015. Her website is found here. http://www.homegrownhospitality.typepad.com and you can click on the “Documented Faith” tab if you want to play catch up. :)
Reminder: “The first will be last and the last will be first.” I try to always be last.
thanks a lot for sharing ! i posted this here : http://www.pinterest.com/lemondedis/freebies-subway-art-posters/ <3
Thank you. Through tears I am typing this…thank you.
emily,
thank you for sharing this. I have been receiving your blog posts by email for a few years, and I feel like I’ve come to know you. we are very close in age, but it seems like you have accomplished so much more than I have in these 35 years. I have felt rejected in so many situations, I have lost count. but if someone as intelligent and beautiful and accomplished as you can have the same issues, it makes me feel a little less lonely.
thank you for the beautiful art print, and thank you for bringing so much beauty into my life.
love,
–mary
I love your honesty and transparency Emily. At some point we have all felt rejection. Thank you for this reminder that WE ARE CHOSEN.
Wow, just what I needed to read today! Thank you for the encouragement and wonderful freebies. I love knowing when I read your blog I will hear real responses and be uplifted. So refreshing.
My journey has taught me this: Life and it’s experiences are a journey not held by time. Most are not truly capable of gleaning everything from an experience when it happens. As we are ready, we will do so. Perhaps you are ready? Perhaps you are working towards closure, growth and wisdom for God to use to help others.
I have sat and read this post – and cried. I haven’t read all the comments but I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO DOUBT that you “all of you” have felt or gone thru the same. My parents got divorced when I was a young adult 22……it was devastating and still after l this time I wonder if the hurt is different-I’m sure it is, but hurt all the same. To be the “one not chosen” even as an adult is hard but we try to be a “big person” and deal with it – but on my own in the quiet of my space – I admit to a little cry and to a moment of beating myself for not doing better etc. I read and admire the strength that you find in your faith and a breathe a little sigh in knowing that I don’t stand alone in feeling as you do-just for the record I to wld have gladly squished myself into a seat next to you xxxxx
Way to take a situation and turn it into a learning opportunity – and to help others too!
My parents never divorced, but I have always been REALLY sensitive about things – but bit by bit I’ve overcome some of it…and because of it I’ve missed out on some things along the way. :( But anyway, what I wanted to say was – I have a dear friend that recently helped me see that my overly-sensitiveness might be a gift from God, rather than the weakness I’ve always seen it as. Maybe your “rejection issues” are just God’s way of helping you help others because you can feel some of what they feel – and helping you love the Savior even more. :)
Isn’t it funny how women who the world may took at as having “perfect” or “charmed” lives deal with these issues of feeling rejected. We are all human and have hurts. Your post is right on target because filling our minds with the truth of God’s Word is what brings peace and healing. God is so good! Yes, even when we suffer.
Blessings to you!
A beautifully honest post. Thank you for sharing such deep feelings. The Atonement of Christ truly has the ability to heal and give peace, and I know because I have experienced it first hand. I have felt the rejection, the sorrow and heartache from the choices of others, but every time I started to feel hopeless I was always reminded that the Lord understood and was there to help take away the pain and give me hope for eventual peace. Peace is real, and I have only found it through my Savior. Prayer…invaluable in healing. He has given us a way to grow and learn, not just from our mistakes, but also in enduring other’s mistakes. What a tender mercy the gift of Christ is in our lives!
Thank you for being so open and honest. I have also felt rejected many times as a child, because I was not born in the same area to where I lived. People would not accept me JUST because of that, and it was hard. Apart from that, I am also the middle child and I have 2 sisters and my childhood was fine. My parents nearly separated when I was 25, it was not fun. But my partner’s Dad left him and his brother when he was 9, and I never really imagined how it could feel like until today, so thank you for sharing. So many great things to be grateful of. The sun always comes up after a rainy day.
What a beautiful post! Thank you for sharing your heart and for reminding us that Christ will never disappoint.
Wow! You have a wonderful way with words. Thanks for sharing this. I think we all need to hear that message at times. Thanks for encouraging each of us while sharing your own vulnerabilities. God bless you and your family abundanlt.
I love that you share your story. And I love that a person that can seem to have everything…a lovely family, a beautiful home, a thriving blog shares the internal so that we can all share in the message.
Thank you for another wonderful blog post.
xo,
Tammy
Yes, you are chosen and accepted in Christ. Oh, don’t you just hate it when those feelings creep out (and usually at the worst possible moment). I can definitely identify. We all have those things in our soul that are just wounded and sometimes they sneak out. I did all the things everyone (in the church) says to do and it helped some but eventually those parts would sneak out again. I cried out to God that there must be something that could help me not feel the pain short of amnesia. He did answer and my life has changed in so many ways as a result. Understand it is not an end all, be all. It is simply a tool that has helped me and many others immensely. It is called HeartSync. It helps me so much that I even did the training to be a certified Heartsync minister. You can read more about it on the Heartsync Ministries website. Let me also encourage you that whatever way God leads you on your walk to inner healing…I am praying for you and cheering you on.
Lovely work from a lovely woman. All of us feel alone and rejected at some point in our lives but how fortunate we are to know that we have a heavenly father who will never disappoint us…will never leave us and only wants us to feel his love for us. You are in my prayers today.
My parents separated (still not divorced) when I was about 27. All my siblings were adults as well. It was and is terrible. I have at least two other girl friends who were adults when their parents divorced too, and from only personal experience, it seems the devastation is much worse the older the kids are because we (the kids) understand what is going on. We understand abuse, affairs, etc. and have lost the childhood simplicity of simply loving our parents. I’ve written out some of my own experience here: http://www.crosswalk.com/family/marriage/divorce-and-remarriage/lost-and-found-family.html
Thanks for sharing your experience with broken family issues too!
Hi Emily
As you can see from all the comments you are not alone in feeling not chosen. And sometimes it’s not even directly through divorce. I have a husband/father to three who is not choosing his wife and family because his father did not choose him and walked away from the family. What a broken world we live in. Thanks for sharing what’s on your heart, even though I had tears in my eyes while reading for you and for our situation, you reminded me on whom I should set my eyes upon as God will not let me down, He is unchanging and ever faithful in his promises.
Blessings
Catherine
a big sigh for me…thank you
My husband walked out on me when our son was just 15 months and our daughter was almost four years old. I was working part-time and did not know if we’d lose our house. It was a terrifying and emotionally devastating time for me. My father was an alcoholic so I had issues with him and always felt like he chose alcohol over having a relationship with me (and my siblings). He died when I was in my early twenties. All of this has contributed to my low self esteem and never feeling like I was good enough. Always undervaluing my wants and need. Always feeling like if I was somehow MORE that they would have chosen me. But they didn’t. I don’t share your faith Emily, but I can see that it is comforting to you. I do believe that there is a higher power, but not the whole Jesus, son of God, he died for our sins story. I choose to focus on what is good in my life. The wonderful people who love me and my two beautiful children. My ex-husband was a lousy husband, but he has turned out to be a good father. For that, I am grateful and I hope that my children know that even though their father left ME. He did not leave them. I hope you know that about your father too Emily.
Thank you for sharing your heart. It doesn’t matter your age, when your family is broken, it hurts. Thanks also for your freebies– they are encouraging (often happy) reminders that I like to put around our home.
Emily, this post hit so close to home and I love this. I’m printing out to use at home. Thank you!
Wow, your post hit home for me! The same thing happened to me at age 19- after 25 years of marriage my father too walked away. It still hurts! It is still awkward at times and holidays are difficult still. I too feel as if he didn’t realize what he was doing. I still carry the same insecurities I did at age 19. It changed me and my path. I still mourn the family I had and the family I lost. Thank you for the sincere post.
I so desperately needed to read your entry tonight. It hit extremely close to home but it was a tiny bit of healing for me, so thank you for being honest and genuine. I appreciate you and your blog so much – you are a beautiful woman of God and I hope you find peace through your post. The Lord is using you in many ways! Thank you!
Your post brought tears to my eyes. My parents’ divorced when I was 27 and it was very difficult for me. It’s still hard for me to understand why it happened. Through it all I grew closer to our Jesus. He will never leave me or forsake me. You are in my prayers.
Hello Emily, My name is Erin. I’ve wanted to introduce myself for a while, and this post has given me a good opportunity to do so. I feel like we are kindred spirits in many ways. I too am a wife, a mom, a designer, a woman of faith, a volunteer, an entrepreneur, and the list goes on. I originally was drawn to your blog because your style is so similar to mine and I enjoyed seeing your inspiring creations. But I kept coming back because the content hit so close to home with me as well.
If people were to describe me in one word I fear many of them would say ‘busy’ – and I am! I have all but given up on most social media, blogs, pinterest, and the like because I just don’t have the time for it. But when I see one of your posts come across my feed I always take a few minutes to open and read it. Despite my busy schedule and my constant effort to cut things out of my life and free up time, I still choose you (thanks Sara Bareilles). You are chosen by our Savior, and also by many other people who’s lives you touch for good – including mine. Hang in there as you navigate the raw and vulnerable emotion of rejection. I’m sure you’ll over come it and be stronger for it in the end! :)
Dear Emily,
Thank you for your honest, dear & tender post. I have quietly followed your blog for years, feeling like a kindred spirit. I am also from the south end of the Seattle-Tacoma area, also a sister in Christ, also a mom of 4, and also have a love for stationery, decorating and reflecting on all of the above. I am thankful for you and for this post. Even in the height of your Rwanda experience, to hear your vulnerability reminds us that life is not perfect or always pretty. No one has “arrived”, we are all in process. The battle of a Christian blogger is to be truthful about our brokenness even as we blog about the prettier things in life. You have balanced this beautifully. Thank you sweet Emily!
Perfectly said. I’ve been struggling lately learning what my role is since bringing home our sweet daughter. I used to say I am a mother. I am a photographer. I am a wife. I am a graphic designer. I am a piano teacher. And so on. But many of those titles have been stripped so that I can be a full time mommy+nurse to my daughter, which had left me feeling lost add to what my roles are these days. But this is a great reminder that above all, I am chosen. Thank you for being vulnerable enough to let Christ shine thru you and through your walk to help encourage others.
Wow. That was a raw write. You know what I thought when I finished reading it? Maybe that seat wasn’t empty. Maybe Jesus was there. God does that with my life sometimes, stripping away everything, leaving nothing. Nothing but Him. I have yet to gain the wisdom to see His hand while I’m in it, though. Sometimes I can look back & see His chisel, chipping away at my walls. :)
Thank you so much for sharing this. I needed THIS today. My parents divorced when I was 24, and I still (7 years later) deal with so much grief and longing for the wonderful family I grew up with and the family that “might have been” as an adult. Thank you again.
Thank you for sharing your heart, your art, your life with us. These words stirred my heart this morning in a good way.
It is not any easier for the one that left, or was pushed to leave, a wife that was married young and missed her “bar years” decided that she no longer wanted a husband and stable home, so the husband, father, lover of his family was served with divorce papers, and in our state, divorce is granted whether one party wants it or not after about 6 months. Then the stories and lies begin with the children, and they take sides, they put up walls, and nothing ever said or explained is ever good enough. They think you deserted them, you didn’t want them etc. Life does go on, but in fragmented stages. There are now 6 grand children and none of them know their Grandfather….he has reached out, he has prayed for them, he has loved them from a distance, all waiting for any crumbs they might toss. They do not accept any invitations to come for visits or holidays, it would “hurt” their mother, they will accept monetary gifts, funny how that works, but they don’t include him to birthday parties or weddings, but lets him know where he can send their gifts. He thought that when they started having families of their own, and had in laws etc. that they would be able to see through the glasses their mother forced them to wear, but that has not happened. One is married to a divorced man, with children from his previous marriage, and she doesn’t think any thing a fowl about that, but her own father, well she says he is dead to her. It breaks my heart…………divorce is never good, no matter at what age, but it is really how you handle it after the divorce papers settle that makes or breaks up the family. No matter what the husband and wife are facing, to purposefully turn the kids against a father is cruel. (or a mother) I don’t chose sides,it is just wrong. Still hurting after 25 years.
Thanks for the reminder that I am chosen. I loved your post, Emily. May you find peace through all the hurt and pain. You are enough and God loves you….and you are making a difference in your world. Thanks for sharing.
Thanks for a beautiful post on a crummy day in Connecticut.
touched. my. heart.
Thank you so much for sharing this! I share an identical story and have really been struggling with the same issues of rejection. My constant thought this week has been to fix my eyes up to Jesus so I read this with tears streaming down my face. Thank you.
Hi Emily,
This evening I was feeling incredibly sad – because of being very definitely not-chosen – I passed the man I love on his way to his new girlfriend’s house.
While in the shower I asked for a sign that this rejection which has been so hard to recover from is for the best and that there will be a man who will choose me wholeheartedly….
I came out, sat down and opened your email.
Thank you, for your beautiful generosity of spirit, for allowing such perfect grace to flow through you.
The prints will greet me every morning, and remind me of God’s love and wisdom, and that I too, am chosen.
Thank you :)
hey you. i was just dashing through your block and beautiful design..then i read your chosen article. thank you very much for sharing it. it encouraged me as i just had a serious argument with one of my parents. Thank you.
God bless you
Anne
Thanks for sharing your heart. Love the print!
Thank you for sharing. This one spoke to me.
Thank you for sharing! It blessed me and encouraged me tonight.
Thanks for being so real.
Thank you for this post. I felt that you were speaking directly to me. This is my life, my parents divorced after 26 yrs of marriage and it tore me and my brothers up and we are still healing from this divorce from 4 hrs ago. This post truly meant a lot to me.
Love,
Monique
Just beautiful.
love these posts that remind me that we are all on a journey towards full redemption.
I have been so down this week, with these same feelings. i almost did not open your email. I thought i just do not feel up to it. But for some reason [my Lord I am sure] I opened and started reading. I needed you and your story today. Thank you very much. Godspeed.
This past year has been the first time in my life that I have struggled with the feeling of rejection/being alone. I know those things are lies from the enemy, but once he pulls you down that road of focusing on the hurts, the ways you feel let down, it is a dark and scary place. I can only conclude that there is something I am to learn from dealing with this, breaking off the hold those feelings of rejection have on my heart, and pressing into Jesus… that He is calling me into a greater depth of the knowledge of His love for me… and that His love is ALL that I need to feel wanted, to feel whole, to feel worth something. So interesting that our struggles have come to surface at the same time… Praying for you as you experience new levels of your Father’s love and great delight in you… of how proud He is of you, and as he proves over and over that He will NEVER leave you, will NEVER forsake you. What an amazing thing it is to have complete trust in our heavenly Daddy.
I’d love to take that seat on the bus! Experiencing my parents divorce a couple of years ago, my children aware of the changes and having to answer their subsequent questions while I’m struggling with so many myself has unraveled me. I’ve come to know Jesus as my Heavenly Father through a desperate clinging to His Word like never before. I highly recommend Tim Keller’s podcasts (Redeemer Presbyterian). His Word has anchored me. The truth setting me free in moments I feel buried under the yuckiness of divorce. Gosh, I’d love to have the seat beside you to glean how to walk through a divorce, forgiveness, and navigating the changes as a grown-up with a family of my own. If ever you’re in NY…! I think you’re swell! Appreciate your honesty (& your book recommendations always suit me well ;)
Horrible day. So many wounds from those who are suppose to love me. They are sucking the life out of me. I pick up my ipad and jump in the tub. Too upset to even get a glass of wine. I just need the healing warm water around me so that when I cry they have a place to go
Lord please give me something from one of my blog sisters that can sink to my heart and soul and offer solace.
He answered through Emily. Thank you for writing what had to be difficult.
Deb, I love you. To love until it hurts– to receive these wounds in the name of loving people and having beautiful, close friendships and relationships with others– may hurt, and hurt a lot. The rejection, as dear Emily has said, can be and usually is very unbearable, heart-wrenching, and almost impossible to cope with. But we have hope and trust in a God whom loved us– mere clay, mere dust, proud sinful creatures whom rejected Him from the very beginning– with such a love that He considered us worthy of undergoing THE most unbearable pain, rejection, and loss so that we might be able to accept His invitation of Love, forgiveness, grace, and close fellowship, both on Earth and eternally. Because He’s experienced such unfathomable pain (and ANYTHING else we’ve ever felt, thought, experienced or undergone), we can know He’s able to hold our hearts. He is able to give us the strength to love and forgive others with all of ourselves, no matter if they love us back, treat us well, or break us to pieces. Knowing that such a God of redemption and ultimate, unconditional, everlasting solace is our God– that He knows us intimately, and loves us just as we are, here– gives us hope. Sister, take heart in the fact that when this world and the people in it suck you dry of life, of love, or wholeness, you have a fountain of living water found in Christ, always ready to fill you back up, that you may love others no matter the pain they come at you with. His love never fails; His love in us helps our love for others to overcome all things, as well. Praising God for your honest, broken heart here– and for the fact that He takes delight in that heart, wants to heal that heart of the pains it feels, and wants to conform that heart more to His perfectly-Loving, righteous, Holy, blameless, beautiful image through that pain and in fellowship with Him.
Praying for a healed heart, healed relationships, and that you’d find your strength in Christ to keep loving others, according to His will, with the same audacious, raw, enduring, intimate love He has for you. Jesus, empty my sister Deb of herself and fill her with you– do that in all of us!– that we might have the strength to do your will, Your Kingdom come, Your will be done on Earth as it is in heaven! Hold your daughters and heal them of their deepest wounds– and show us how to tell the story of Your redemption in all of them. We are loved! Amen! Blessings, dear sister. :)
I too experienced my parents’ divorce as an adult. This was beautifully written my friend! Thank you for the printables – they’re are already on our bookshelves.
What a thoughtful post. I have also felt rejected and not chosen – many times as a child and as an adult. Thank you for the reminder that no matter what we feel we can know that we are one of God’s chosen.
It is a falsehood that it’s easier if you’re older. I’m a divorced parent, and I am convinced it’s simply easier for the parent. I would highly suggest the book “the unexpected legacy of divorce.” It’s a 25 year landmark study on the impact divorce has on kids throughout their lives. I read if to figure out if there was anything to do to help my kids through the process. I’m sorry for your pain. The feelings you expressed are very common with children of divorce, but no less painful. I have to claim truth for myself that there is nothing about me that is not worthwhile…it’s easy to feel without worth you’ve been left behind. Sin is ugly.
I have a very similar story, like so many of your readers. It’s so sad! I was 18, it’s been 18 years but it’s a hurt I will never recover from. I feel it every day. Thank you for reminding me that I am chosen. I wish my psyche believed it all the time!
Sweet friend, thank you for this post. I think feelings of rejection and (failed) people pleasing are one of my greatest adult struggles… Though, I honestly couldn’t believe that you would ever feel that way. I would sit next to you on the bus anytime. ;)
I think that your response, time reminding yourself (and us! Thanks for that!) of the Truth of God’s Word, is the only effective way to move out of this struggle. May you be reminded over and over today that you are a priceless treasure to Christ, a daughter of the King, and that you are delighted in by Him.
Emily,
This is my first comment on your blog, but I felt compelled to say that I love not only your house and creativity, but your vulnerability. This post spoke so directly to me and my heart! I too have felt these same feelings and am daily bringing them back to the cross. Now with a daughter of my own facing these same feelings I feel like it is more important that even that I remember WHO’s i am and hope I can instill the same in her. Thanks for sharing you heart and this print. Already have it printed so I can remember His promise!
Thank you for sharing and being so honest, we’ve all felt those feelings (like over and over) thank you for writing about them and for the beautiful prints. xoxo
I hear you. I’m older that you are and have had these feelings too many times. Why am I feeling rejected, I whine. Well, we all do sometimes. Even my eighty year old mother speaks of it.
Thank you for sharing this. Thank you for sharing your feelings. Thank you for sharing these downloads, too.
Oh man, how I can relate to this post! Your words blessed me so much. Thank you for opening up to us, your readers. It’s always good to know we are not alone in our (sometimes insecure) feelings.
Dear Emily,
thank you very much for your post- I think that it opened my eyes and now I can say loud about my own feelings. My parents divorced when I was 3. Honestly, I don’t know what means “real” home- with mother and father, spending time together on talking, playing games or just watching TV. You’re lucky that you had all those moments with your family during childhood.
When I was a teenager usually I felt just not good enough – I knew that both of my parents love me so much, but I couldn’t seen how it is to have both of them together, maybe I also felt guilty. Now I’m 21 and I’m afraid. Afraid that I can’t create normal and happy relationship, I’m not even sure if I can love somebody. I feel that I’m not good enough to be truly loved and I always feel so empty inside myself. I’m still looking for my way and I’m afraid that I wouldn’t find happiness and I’ll hurt other people.
I want to say thank you for a courage you gave me- for the first time I said loud about all my fears – now I have to face with it! I wish you (and also myself) to find peace and always believe that there’s Somebody who take care and choose us!
Paulina
Thank you for your beautiful and honest words. You lifted me up in the midst of a challenging work week. Thank you for sharing your heart and for sharing your talent (the prints are perfect!).
Emily, I am so greatful for your honesty and opening your heart. I have learned through painful trails of my own that God does not ever waste your pain or trials. It seems that you have been through some very real and painful experiences and allowed God to use them for good, to heal and bind others wounds. Thank you for being slefless and sharing your heart, that takes incredible courage. God Bless!
Your writing is infectious and, as a new blog reader, it took a moment for me to realize that you are writing to me! I absolutely love it. I think you’re beautiful as I read your honest, heartfelt thoughts and I think of what fortunate children you must be raising! Thanks for arriving in my inbox. I’ll look forward to connecting with you again!
Thank you for sharing your heart and your journey. My 12yr old son just had a practical lesson in rejection at school today. It is so encouraging to hear “we are not alone” on this path! I will be sharing this post with him too.
Thank you, Emily!
I have so much respect for your choice to be open and “real”. The desire to be loved and wanted and to be “picked” never goes away. But just as you have realized, we have a Father who loves us, wants us, and has chosen us! How wonderful to remember that! (Best of all, He will not fail us!) :)
Thank you for sharing this post! How transparent of you and how much your honesty will help so many. I just had this conversation with a friend yesterday at Bible study, who has reconciled with her husband. They have 2 daughters, age 20 and 23 and we talked about how they would feel if she and her husband divorced, how it will affect them for a lifetime. Thank goodness they have chosen to stay together and praise God things are so very good in their relationship now. I have no reason from childhood to feel rejected, but it is something I seem to struggle with all the time. Thank you for sharing from your heart such a personal experience. I enjoy your DIY and beautiful pictures of home and stories of you family…. but I think this is my most favorite post from you.
Hi Emily!. My name is Victoria and I’m writing you from Valencia (Spain). I’ve just read your post from the beginning to the end. So many times I’ve felt rejected too, last time just a month ago when I was dismissed and some people that I considered friends just walked away or when I wrote in my blog about my dismissal and that situation and nobody had time to leave a simple comment. That hurts and that’s rejection but although rejected we have to leave that rejection behind us and go on, we can’t do anything else, we have to consider ourselves much better than those people we have felt rejection from and think: it hurts but now I know who you are and who I have to stay away from and that’s it. Many thanks for putting rejection feeling into words, Love!
Thank you for your vulnerability here. Reading your post spoke volumes to my soul because like so many others, I can relate. I’m only 27 but was strangely encouraged that at 35 you still had that moment of crisis – it reminds me God is still at work in us, at 20, 27, 35, and He still will be at 55 & 90. We are chosen, and what security that brings.
Emily,
Maybe this is telling you that you need to watch and make sure you are not rejecting people unknowingly. Or maybe there are people in your “circles” that need some attention. Or maybe not! Just a thought.
Thank you for sharing such a personal part of yourself and thank you for reminding us that we are Chosen by the most high!
Thank you Emily for your honest words. Your transparency is so refreshing. I love how you share your heart and your faith in God! I am always encouraged after reading your posts.
The print is amazing!
Blessings,
Ashley
I’m adopted so know all about rejection issues!?!?!? They say I’m lucky because I was “chosen”. Well, to be “chosen”; I was UNchosen first! I am divorced and it brought up several old feelings of rejection, not being good enough, etc. He walked away from my 2 beautiful YOUNG children and me. HIs loss ultimately, but impacted us a great deal. Thank you for your honest, beautiful post and printables!
Emilie
Thank you for these words, which helps to cross the tests. I just lost, finally we lost our cat of 20 years. It was a very difficult time for the 5 of us but we have to make a choice and take an animal for new projects. It’s important to have projects, they help us move … like my blog, my e-shop, go on a family vacation, or take a new cat! Thank you, it’s cool to see that with thousands of miles away, we can help and often live in the same events! Thank you to you for the momentum and did!
Marie-Maguelone
Wow, Emily, such a beautiful post. Thank you for sharing that part of your heart with us!
Dearest Emily,
Thank you for your beautiful honesty.
My own parents divorced when I was 7. I was an only child and it was a lonely time which because no one spoke about it, made it carry very much into 30 years of experiences that I would probably not have had, otherwise.
Today I am a therapist and practitioner, and feel that what I went through has helped me understand far more, than I may have otherwise questioned, & very much am able to help others.
Please know that fundamentally whenever anybody makes a decision on such a scale that it is much more to do with that person (perhaps in this case your father) and what was going on FOR HIM than anything to do with you. Invariably we are incredibly unfortunate souls, and hurting us is not the primary or secondary motivator. Beginning to think about this separation from the way you experienced it, may allow you to stand a little further back and begin to heal that beautiful heart of yours.
If you would like at all to discuss this further then please get in touch.
Sarah Jane x
Simply stated…thank you!
Beautiful piece! And even better, paired with your personal story. Thanks, Emily!
One of my favorite verses in this wheelhouse is Psalm 27:20—
“Even if my father and my mother forsake me, the LORD will take me up.”
And come to think of it, Psalm 34:18 is up there also:
“The LORD is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.”
We really do have the very best Master, don’t we? Such a joy to know that we are His and He is ours— and that He will bring the good work He has started in us to a successful end :)
beautiful and thank you!!! We moved to Nashville 2 years ago and I have found it so hard to find and make friends. Rejection has overwhelmed my thoughts and emotions over that time and especially in the last few months. Thank you for the encouragement and reminder that we’re not alone.
Beautiful! Thanks for sharing your heart on this, Emily!
Emily thank you so much for sharing! Sometimes the feeling of rejection feels so personal that it’s hard to believe others have the same struggle. I am encouraged to know that I am not alone and your words helped me think of the greater power and love of Christ and what he did for us.
I too struggle with the feeling of rejection and feeling alone in this great big world. I attend a wonderful church but often feel completely alone and that I have no friends I can open up to and be 100% myself with. I live in a small town with my beautiful family where most people have lived their entire life but I’ve only lived here for 9 years. Friendships are hard to find and close friendships are even harder. I make a concerted effort to meet new people but I don’t think I’ll ever feel completely at home here or accepted…but I know my savior accepts every part of me and I know I’ll have eternal life with him and that’s comforting.
Thank you for pouring your heart out to us! If we were face to face I’d give you a big hug :) Also, thank you for the prints! These will be wonderful reminders when I’m feeling down.
Wish you a wonderful and blessed rest of your day!
Sincerely,
~Anita
Thank you for sharing, Emily. Rejection is always hard to deal with, no matter how old we are. It sure is nice to know we aren’t alone :).
Tamara
http://www.trulytamara.com
I, too experienced the broken heart of a daddy who left when I was a 5-year-old. Now, I’m a 57-year-old Nana, & praise God, He has healed that broken heart of mine. But, not until I finally realized (when I was about your age) that I needed to rely on Jesus & ONLY His promises. I’ve known Him since I was 11, but fully acknowledging that lasting & complete fulfillment comes only through Christ, was a true transformation of my heart, mind, & soul!
You answered your own question of why these thoughts come now, sweet Emily–because He wanted you to find your completeness & acceptance ONLY in Him, too. And, to use your writing as such a sweet blessing. I’m thankful for you today, & how you’ve been used to touch so many!
Thanks for sharing such personal experiences. We all of experienced rejection at some point in our lives, but you have opened my eyes to the fact that I myself could have made someone else feel rejection as well. I try to be very sensitive to others and their needs and I hate the thought that I may have made someone feel rejected. Your words have helped me to become more thoughtful in how I treat others.
Oh Emily, my heart broke for you as I read your post this morning. I am sorry that you have had this in your life at all! Divorce has such a profound impact on how we feel about ourselves and why we do focus on rejection at times whether we are young or old. I know all to well as my mother left our family when I was 10 and at 56 it still hurts.
I am blessed with 4 grown kids and a hubby that help me to feel otherwise even with bumps along the way! Thank you so much for sharing your story and reminding me that with God’s love I am “chosen”! Perfect encouraging scripture! Praying for you and all of the others with broken hearts! I definitely will print and frame this for our family & friends to remember!
Thank you for your beautiful act of love!
xo colette
Wow, Emily, this is an amazing post! My heart goes out to you as I have dealt with the feelings of “rejection” and “loss” my entire life. My dad was having an affair while my mother was pregnant with me. She didn’t find out until I was 6 wks old and that was the end. Long, long story of so many other situations…relationships, marriages, you name it!
I just recently had a relationship end due to dishonesty, etc. My heart hurt so much. I honestly had to work through it with giving it up to God. I cannot even begin to tell you how much better I feel! It’s like this huge, heavy load was lifted and I know that’s God! I’ve worked so hard to deal with these feelings over the years and I know I’m better…just still not “there” yet. :) I will be! And you will too. I’m going to hold you in prayer and send peace, comfort and love your way.
You are chosen!!
xo
Pat
P.S. Thanks so much for sharing the printable ~ a wonderful reminder.
I think everyone can relate to this post! The fact that you not only took these hurt feelings and made a free printable speaks how you are a very kind person…. pay it forward if you will. I can’t imagine being on the bus with all the bloggers and sitting my myself – I would cry my eyes out too! My heart hurt so bad when I read this – it hurt for you….. If I could ever get a chance to even go to Rwanda (I can’t leave my house – my son needs 24/7 care) – PLEASE know – I would have seen you – I would have asked if I could have sat with you… I would have sat with you and shared my chocolate and candy (b/c I love candy) – however, I am an outcast – I don’t get out of my house let alone out of the country – but I wanted to say that my heart goes out to you and you have every right to feel what you feel or you wouldn’t be human!
I totally would have sat with you on the bus!
Thanks for posting this. What a comfort to know that God loves us more than anyone ever could!
Thank you for being transparent and honest!
THANK YOU. For speaking up and sharing. I’m glad I’m not the only one who can be pushed to tears because of something like an empty bus seat next to me. My issues probably come from middle school bullying not divorce but it is just so good to know that there are others that understand. I love that translation of the verse. Thank you again for letting the Spirit speak through you.
Divorce is hard. For everyone. Even when it’s delivered early, like I’ve grown up with or late like yours. May I offer some advice? No matter how hard, no matter how many hurt feelings, when the olive branches are presented, take them. God leads us down many paths, but in His time, He will lead a family back together. And it’s never the same, but it was never meant to be.
Oh Emily, I feel that we are kindred spirits (as Anne of Green Gables would say). I was also 20 when my father walked out on his family. They lied. It isn’t any easier when you are an adult, you are so much more aware of the ugliness of a relationship that has gone bad. I thought we were this idyllic family too. It was a bitter nasty divorce which only deepened the wounds. He missed my wedding, the birth of my children, and many other significant events in my adult life. The worst part I think was that he continued to see my sister which also strained our relationship.
What brings up these past wounds? It can be as simple as someone asking you why you don’t see him. It can be a Disney movie you watch with your kids – why are the mothers absent and the fathers the ones who are always there for their daughters – ouch.
I don’t know if you see him at all now but after 12 years my Father did approach me and we began the work to repair. That was 17 years ago and I am now almost 50. There are times where it still does hurt and there are times when I still feel rejected. But, I know that God is working in him and I also know that my now-grown up children have never experienced a time with me that they didn’t know how much they were loved AND chosen.
Remember that it is always uncomfortable when God is making us grow. I highly recommend the book Captivating by John Eldredge, it really spoke to my wounded heart.
Kelly
Emily, thank you for sharing your heart on this. I am always blessed by what you have to share in this space, and this is no exception.
You are right – no matter how old you are, “all the feelings” are there. My parents divorced when I was 34 (I’m now 38, an only child). I was 5 years into my own marriage, two little ones and one on the way, and I was suddenly left with the feelings I might have had if this had happened when I was a kid – anger, hurt, rejection; not just of me, but now my little family. And great sadness that what had now become part of my story was also part of my children’s stories. As with any situation like this, there are so many details that add up to the whole. And though I’m with you in understanding I didn’t cause this, I didn’t choose this – all of that – I still struggle with the “why’s” and the “are you kidding me?” moments. Maybe because now that I am a married woman and know just how much of a daily, volitional choice marriage can sometimes be, I wrestle with a lot of anger about what this new normal requires. And for sure, it has colored my view of interactions I have with people, even those who I KNOW love me so very much, where I sometimes question my worth and value to them. Such an unattractive thing, and I hate that this now will strike at the core of my being, at seemingly random times.
All of that to say, I hear you, and am so THANKFUL to you for creating this print, sharing this Truth. Yes! I am chosen by Him, the one who ALWAYS accepts me, knows me fully, and loves me completely. I need that Truth to meditate on still…always…
My in-laws divorced when we were all adults, and it was so strange. Thank you for the reminder that we are chosen…it means a lot!
Thank you for sharing this today! We all struggle and sometimes it feels like we are the only one! I seem to often feel I am just not enough – not good enough for a lot of things and alot of reasons, the more I focus on them the bigger it gets – so I am learning to focus on the good stuff – focus more on Him! And not let people determine how I feel.
Have a great day Emily – hugs to you!
xo
Thanks for your honesty today! That could not have been easy to write, but it sure was encouraging to read!
Thank you SO MUCH for your honesty and vulnerability. You really touched me today.
Without going into details, I know exactly how you feel. I would say I have rejection issues as well. To the point where I sometimes keep myself closed off because I don’t want to relive the feelings of disappointment and hurt that being left out or rejected causes. I don’t know that the hurts will ever fully be able to heal in this life but for me Christ has been the one constant. I know that I’m not alone and even when I’m let down I know that he will never leave me. I’ve had quite a few instances of “not being chosen” recently and it’s brought up a lot of hurt from the past. Thank you for being open and posting this today.
p.s. I’d ride a bus with you any day!
Emily,
Thanks so much for sharing. I too have a similar story. (Don’t we all?)
This parallels what I have just been reading in Jennifer Dukes Lee’s book “Love Idol.” She writes about how we can strive for acceptance from others. And gently reminds us that we are already “pre-approved.” I highly recommend this book.
Thank you for sharing, your story and your faith. They are both inspiring!
You spoke to some broken places today and gave me both something to ponder and some encouragement. Thank you for that.
Thank you so much for this post! I appreciate your willingness to share and your honesty. I got teary and had to take some deep breaths. I needed this message of hope. I think we all struggle at times as adults. Right now my eight year old is struggling with a bully at school. I will be printing out this printable and frame it for her room. Thank you for something we both need right now!
I’m crying as i type this, because it spoke directly to what I’ve felt for years! Mine wasn’t rejection because of divorce; it was in relationships. And no matter how far i come, sometimes it feels like you just don’t heal! I needed those words. Thank you, thank you for sharing your story and also the hope God has given you! Hugs to you in your journey <3
Before you were made, you were loved. Before you came into being, you were
chosen. Before you were chosen, you were already equipped. You are God’s glorious extension. Thank you for “choosing” to allow Jesus to shine on all those pieces in your life
that felt broken and unwanted. And by doing so- your life, your work, your family,
your soul, are light beams of God’s healing love and shine like diamonds!!! You are brilliant.
I’m a stay at home mom who gave up a career as an art director, to be with my children. ( I have no regrets.) Keeping my creative juices alive is vital. But staying in God’s presence and standing firm on His Truth is imperative. Among all the inspirational pins I could choose, I’m glad God pointed me to you. I am amazed by your approach to work, family and love of God.
You are who I want to be when I grow up! : )
May the Lord continue to bless the works of your hands.
Thank you for sharing your heart. I truly appreciate your candidness and honesty. My husband and I are pastors and I am constantly drilling this concept of “you are enough” into our teenage girls that I teach and pour into weekly. It’s such a real struggle that battles within their souls. We strive for authenticity in our lives and ministry because real is what people need…even more so, it’s what they don’t know they crave. It is evident that you strive for the same and I want you to know that your transparency will speak to the hearts of so many. Thank you :)
OH thank you! you see as quickly approach 50 i’ve been feeling the old stirrings of rejection, disappointment, and discouragement. knowing that that my dad walked out on us when i was 19, then intentionally walked out of my life again almost 10 years ago never to hear from him again, the only word was finding out a month after he died 3 years ago. The hopes and dreams of being reunited with him here on this earth crushed, shattered. But in the midst of it all, knowing that I have a heavenly Father who will never leave me, never forsake me, that I am CHOSEN! That HE loves me. Thank you, thank you so very much for this reminder!!!
I think I probably relate to this post more than any other I’ve read since I started following a few years ago. Pretty sure this is a universal problem with us women, don’t you think? In spite of being a believer in the saving work of Christ, it is only this year (my 40th) that I’m starting to internalize my value in Him. I find it’s so easy to beat myself up for wallowing in my “problems” when I look around and see others dealing with so much more than I, but we all have unhealed hurts that string together in the tapestry of our lives in ways unique to each of us. Chosen is a beautiful word that conveys such tender love to our broken hearts, and to be chosen by the almighty God, well how can I not fall down in worshipful gratitude?
Thank you for sharing your heart. I find that it is in the open admission of our pain that we allow others to admit their own struggles, and that is where we can find healing in the community of believers. And thank you for the printables…can’t wait to stick them up somewhere around my home!
Beautiful print, beautiful words, and a beautiful heart behind them. xo!!!
Thank you for your transparency here Emily! This was such an encouragement to me to know I am not alone in feeling rejected sometimes too. I sent this to my family because I think each and every person has dealt with this feeling in some way. You are an encouragement to many!
Thanks for taking the time to share with us! I love your blog and your home!
I would have sat next to you on the bus!!! ; )) I totally understand rejection. Just like one of your readers stated, those feelings are meant to draw us closer to Him! Thanks for the courage to share this and your messages about Jesus Christ. How difficult that is in today’s society!! You are awesome!! Love your blog, and your courage!
Thank you for sharing your heart. My father left us when I was 12. Even though I know I have a heavenly father it still hurts. Thank you for reminding me that I am chosen and that God is good all the time.
I’m so sorry. It sure hurts, doesn’t it?! Love to you, today.
Thank you for these words. It brought me to tears. My parents divorced a year ago, still heartbreaking at age 35. It adds in a whole new layer of pain when my children have to deal with rejection of their papa. He was in their lives daily, and then boom, he moves 1000 away. I’m going to put this print in each of their rooms. Thanks you
Ugh. Divorce is just plain hard. Praying for you and your children today.
Thank you for sharing. I, too, have issues with rejection. It stems from when I was a child and has been more prevalent lately in my adulthood as I deal with family issues. I, too, have hit a low and had to do some serious soul searching and prayer and I have come to the realization and true knowledge that A) I cannot expect people to accept me/my choices or respect them; and B) despite others’ acceptance or rejection of my choices, my responsibility is to take care of myself and my family the best I can. If I am constantly doing “B” then I have no reason to fear others’ reactions or disappointments in me. That is their issue and I cannot change it or them.
I am not completely healed, but reminding myself of these two points has helped me deal with my guilt and fear. I appreciate your honesty and openness and look forward to following your story. :)
As hard as it must have been for you to write this post, it is so good to know that a beautiful, successful, happy woman like you has struggles and feelings that we all can relate to — and that life goes on. I think it just makes us (me) love and admire you all the more. Thanks for sharing and encouraging and reminding us where our hope lies.
This is beautiful and painful and true and such the experience of so many. I so get it! I took a trip to South Africa two years ago and had such an emotional experience too. You feel so vulnerable there because there is vulnerability and pain all around you. Much more than you see in your everyday life in the states. I think it brings really raw issues to the surface. I cried for two weeks after I returned! I just bought a necklace that is a cross on which is engraved “grace” and a little charm added that says, “chosen”… I love it…chosen by grace. Thanks for being real and living real and being willing to share it.
Thank you Emily for being willing to be vulnerable enough to share this with us and for your beautiful and inspiring work! Your words moved me to tears. God bless!!
I am continually amazed by how God floods my life with His word and people willing to share their faith. He has used you today to bless me with peace and a reminder of His everlasting love. Thank you!
I’ve always felt all of those instances in life are meant to inspire empathy and growth. That’s where I channel it anyway. I’ve felt my share.
Dearest Emily,
I love following your blog, and today’s post was so real and transparent. Twenty years ago my husband left our 3 sons and me after 20 years of marriage for another woman…so I felt the rejection and nothingness you described. Only Jesus could see me through the years of raising 3 boys as a single mom, and heal my heart, and my sons’ hearts, which are still a work in progress. Thank you for sharing honestly with us, and for the lovely print. They are already on my desk! What a beautiful promise to hold on to and cling to when we feel alone and unloved. He is with us ALWAYS! Thank you for your ministry – through your gift of art, through your mission trip to Rwanda, and through your words of honesty and encouragement. Blessings and love to you!
Your story is so similar to my mom’s – only 3 girls instead of 3 boys. It’s been hard on her (in addition to other heartbreak from her own childhood) and I now look at her with such love and admiration for the ways she has graciously forgiven, healed the best she can and moved on to a healthy marriage with a new dad we adore. It’s so hard. But He loves us. Just trying to keep my eyes where they ought to be.
This was so real and so beautiful. I think very often we all find ourselves feeling rejected and being in that position of “why isn’t anyone sitting next to me?”. Satan always does his best to pull at our weak spots. The Lord is our strength and through Him we can overcome these feelings. I am dealing with this issue specifically…rejection…with my 12 year old who’s father chose drugs and alcohol over being involved with his son. For 4 years we have not heard from or seen him and it has angered my son and filled him with hatred and self doubt. He asks me, “why doesn’t he want me?” That is something you never want to hear from your child about their father. We are in counseling to deal with these issues and hopefully correct them the best we can. Thank you for this blog specifically.
I started following you about a year or so ago. I love your blog and your creativeness! It was so inspiring to me that I decided to start my own blog. In no way is it in comparison to yours, but I love sharing my thoughts and ideas. As a stay at home mom it helps me feel connected to the outside world. It’s like, “hello world, I’m still here please don’t forget me”. LOL Thank you for your blog and your for sharing your love of God and your faith.
This just breaks my heart. Your son is lucky to have a mom who can help him walk through the feelings. I’ll be praying for him today. xoxo.
An incredibly inspiring post that really hit home for me. Thank you so much for reminding all of us that through Jesus we can all find acceptance and unfailing love.
Thank you for sharing this today Emily as I know it isn’t easy too do. I have and continue to go through some of the same issues you are going through. Some days it is hard too do but I try to focus on all the blessings I have in my life.
Also, thank you for the print as it will be a good reminder to look at each day. Take care.
Thank you for the sweet honesty and the reminder, all of us need, that we are indeed chosen and loved by Him.
I love your truthfulness and faithfulness! One of the many reasons I love your blog and find so much inspiration in your posts. Jesus is so good, loving and accepting of who we are, such a comfort to me everyday.
I have always looked at you as someone so sweet and kind. In high school I never saw a mean bone in your body. Your smile is contagious. I would of never guessed you felt rejected or lonely when not invited. Thank you for sharing and reminding us of the gift our Savior has given us. We are NEVER alone. I pray you will find your peace in your struggles.
Thank you, sweet Emily. You were looking right at me when you wrote this, weren’t you? Talking right to me…. This print will be on my wall by tonight. Thank you, thank you!
Beautiful as always Emily. I’ve got a spot picked out for the chosen print already :) thanks
Emily, I could repeat the beauty of what these other readers have shared, but I see that two times, you ask, “Why now?” I think it’s clear to see that you, my sister, are sharing a testimony of healing and grace that can only come from our beautiful creator Himself! What a beautiful testimony. It brought tears to my eyes, both of my own past hurts and rejections but also, tears of joy, accepting his love for me. Thank you for sharing this message – and wonderful art, as well. I cannot wait to print and display in my home and future classroom ;) Blessings to you and all the readers. You’ve definitely been a blessing to us.
Thank you Jacquelyn, for the encouragement :)
emily, my parents divorced when I was 4. My Mom went on to marry/divorce when I was 6, remarried a 3rd time and divorced when I was 14… I can relate to your feelings of being alone, rejected, not accepted, the list goes on… I gave my life to the Lord at 17 and married at 21 to a godly man. At 51 I too, go through many days of re-living the hurts of my past and wonder: “why now”. God called me to a Prayer ministry 5 yrs ago and my life hasn’t been the same. He is growing in me, refining me and molding me to be a witness and servant for Him. I appreciate your honesty and willing heart to share your life and share God with others. I spoke at a women’s event at our church and some women who I counted on being there, didn’t show up. I was hurt and felt very alone. I complained to God the day after, “why weren’t they there?” and he clearly said to me: “I was there”… It was a defining moment for me. So, when the seat is empty next to you, it’s open for God to sit there… your never alone. Thank you for the wonderful reminder in 2 Peter.
This is so sweet, Michelle. Thank you for your wise words. Learning to let go of my desire/need to be chosen by man and instead rest in the acceptance of God!
I sincerely felt like I was reading my own story as I began reading this post….. until you got to the feelings of being rejected. I honestly have never thought about my parents divorce (they divorced when I was 20 as well), or some other things that have happened in life as resulting in a feeling of rejection. After thinking on this for a little while though, I realize that’s exactly how I feel a lot of times. I’m 28 and single and I so often struggle with being single. My parents’ divorce and a bad relationship have left me feeling very rejected. To the point that carrying on a conversation with a single guy is basically impossible because of a fear of rejection. It’s completely ridiculous – this I know. I know the truth God has given me in scripture, but forcing my heart to believe and apply it in the moment can seem impossible. I’ve really been working on working through this- this scripture is a great one to add to my toolbox. Thanks for your honesty and transparency- somehow it’s made me more honest and transparent to really realize what I’m really struggling with.
PS- I would debate whoever said divorce was easier on adult children. My younger siblings who still lived at home handled everything much better than I did. I moved out expecting to return to the “perfect” picture I left. Realizing that was going to be different rocked me to my core. As hard as it was though, the experience grew my childlike faith into an adult faith that realizes He loves us enough to let us walk through trials so that we look more like Him. (James 1) I’m thankful for that.
PPS- The blanket tutorial??? I’m dying over here in anticipation. I need a new throw or two so bad and nothing I can find matches the price and style I want!
1. I didn’t realize my issue was with rejection until this year. After all of these weird memories came back when I felt left-out, not picked, looked over – it was then I identified it as feeling rejected. My dad leaving is a big piece, but not the only one. It has looked a lot like being a people-pleaser in my life, which is not necessarily bad, but it sets me up for failure because at some point I will let people down. And I’m with you … I KNOW the truth, but actually believing it and living it is a whole other thing. Keep going, keep searching, keep healing. We’re in this together :)
2. I totally agree. Divorce is just plain ugly no matter how you look at it and it’s effects are long-lasting. Come, Jesus, come is all I can say.
3. Blanket tutorial coming :)
Isn’t it amazing how many of us strong women are having the same feelings of rejection or memories of rejection!
I planned to write how much this post meant to me today but ended up reading the other posts. So it seems your post is timely, Emily, for a number of us. Thanks for opening your life and heart to us, and in doing so, helping all of us to face our challenges, heal our hurts, and become better at being us.
And thanks for the wonderful prints that I shall frame and hang nearby as a reminder that we ARE chosen.
I can so relate to this post! Thank you for being courageous enough to write it and for giving us a visual reminder that we are, in fact, accepted. I absolutely love your work and am so happy to have found your blog!
Thank you so much for sharing…I have a similar story and often deny that I still struggle with those feeling of rejection. I think that early rejection often contributes to my huge need for acceptance as an adult.
Amen, sister, amen! Thank you for sharing this Truth that washes us clean, everyday! Thank you for sharing your gifts with us. :)
Thank you for your transparency and courageous candor. Your reminder of our Jesus choosing rejection for Himself because of us, whom He has loved and chosen, is so heartening and healing. Thank you, thank you. Today I have chosen to thank God for you, my “e-friend”!
Thanks for sharing! I think most of us feel rejected at some time or another (even around other Christian women).~~~~~~~ Lord, help me to be sensitive to the needs of others. Help my senses to be acute when others are hurting or needy. Help me to be obedient to Your Holy Spirit when I feel the nudge to step out of my comfort zone and talk or minister to someone. Help me to be your hands and feet to those around me. You are great Oh Lord and greatly to be praised. Amen~~~~~~~
Emily, thank you for sharing your story. Just like Kathleen-earlier commenter, i turn 50 in next month and struggle with rejection. Yesterday was one of those days, i almost went into a self-pity thinking about “not be chosen”. Thank you for this timely post. Lots of love to you!
It’s such an ugly feeling isn’t it? Be encouraged today.
i’m so happy you shared this! i have similar feelings about being rejected or not worthy enough to be chosen. i’m a photographer and have been for many years, but my business is struggling to take wings. that is where those thoughts enter in that i’m not good enough to be “chosen.” or that everyone rejects me to choose another photographer. this post bolstered my spirit and helped me know that i’m not the only one who feels this way sometimes! and i completely relate to the bus story. i would have cried, too. i think that is the mark of a sensitive soul. one who just wants to be seen. sending love + hugs to you!
xoxo
b
Oh, I totally know the feeling! We won’t always be chosen and we know this, but it still stings when we aren’t. I get it.
What a good and gracious Father we have! A Dad whose promises will never be broken, and whose comforting “I am with you always” (Matt 28:20) caress erases the doubts, fears, and lies we believe.
What are some resources that have helped you keep your eyes on Jesus, even when feeling broken and rejected by others? Some sermons? Blogs? Books? I’ve married a bruised and hurting husband who is still feeling the effects of his parent’s divorce. Any gospel-saturated resource recommendations would be much appreciated!
I’m so sorry to hear about your husband. These wounds stay with us for way too long and I’m sure he appreciates the way you love and care for him. Most of my resources have been female-oriented, but he could try reading Larry Crabb Inside Out (http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1612913121/ref=pd_lpo_sbs_dp_ss_1?pf_rd_p=1944687722&pf_rd_s=lpo-top-stripe-1&pf_rd_t=201&pf_rd_i=1600060994&pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_r=1S3KZ8P179GDPQY05Y9T).
Thank you! We’ll check it out.
I had to deal with a divorce of my parents while in college. In many ways it’s such a blessing, but no matter the age it still shakes much of the loveliness we grew up with and the stability we always thought was there. Thank you for sharing and thank you for this wonderful printable.
This was so honest. Thank you. My parents divorced when I was 24.
I love the scripture. I am constantly talking with my four kids about these things.
Telling them my experiences – so they know that it is normal.
Changing the focus can change it all.
Thank you.
Thank you for being real and sharing your “stone” in your life’s path.
The brooke would have no melodious sound if it weren’t for the rocks and stones that give it it’s ripple!
I have that pinned to my desk board to remind me when my “stones” have me slipping instead of stepping. I recently finished a wonderful book. “Sensible Shoes” by Sharon Garlough Brown that you may find wonderful as well.
May you be encouraged and strengthened, that by sharing this post, you have fellow pilgrims who share a familiar path and will be lifting you up as you “step” along life’s melodious path!
As a grateful reader of your blog, blessings to you as you choose to hold the hand of the one who created you and leads you on your “chosen” life path.
Thanks for sharing your hurt to heal a bit of mine today, friend. Love how God does that.
love you :)
thank you for sharing this here, emily. you are such a lovely child of God. i am thankful for you every time you invite us into your life here. your blog is my very favorite, not because of how beautiful it is and how much i admire your impeccable taste, but because of the sweetness of your heart that shines through in every post. thanks for being such an encouragement.
Thanks Jess. I’m just doing what I can to tell of His greatness. Sometimes that means admitting my own ugliness in order to do it – but I’m okay with it. We all have hurt and brokenness and it’s one more way to connect with one another, hold each other up and be encouraged. xoxo.
This is good, Emily. My parents aren’t divorced, but my relationship with my dad has never been what I would have liked it to be. There’s some very deep hurt/mistrust that I still struggle with sometimes. And I still wonder sometimes why he doesn’t love/like me more.
I usually find–in those seasons when we’re feeling rejected–that it has almost nothing to do with how other people actually feel about us. Meaning…that we are still being accepted by the people who love us, and we are probably not being given too much thought either way by the ones who seem to be rejecting us.
But the mechanics or “how people really feel” doesn’t seem to matter too much at that exact moment of perceived abandonment, does it?
That’s why Scripture is so, so good (and practically the only constant thing to fall back on). I am so grateful that God’s word never changes, never shifts, and that nothing I can do–whether good or bad–can change my status of redeemed and accepted in Jesus’s eyes.
Preach! Thanks for sharing. :-)
been lurking around your site for years now and haven’t posted until now. i’m having to write through my eyes stinging just a bit because your words hit a little too close to home. thank you for sharing your struggle with us. it’s my struggle too. almost a year ago it came out that my father has been unfaithful multiple times to my mom for over 20 years of their 40-year marriage. devastating. and yet she stays and they’re working it out so he’ll be in my life. not sure how i feel about having this man who does not feel like my dad anymore–i’m not sure who he is right now–lingering around in our family events. to make it worse, i grew up a preacher’s kid…so yeah…this liar was also my minister. i feel like i’ve lost two families: my original one and my church family. if i can’t trust my dad, who can i trust? who is real and who’s just playing pretend?
thank you for the scripture and the reminder. it’s good to hear that while the scars may never magically erase, there is healing and we can hold on to the hope that our family will be whole one day with a Dad that never gives up on us and chooses to call us His children.
Oh June, I’m so sorry. This must not be easy and I can relate on many levels to the mistrust and rejection. Praying for your heart, for your dad and mom and your ultimate trust in Jesus. xo.
A big giant “me too”. For this post. I am 53 and this still pops up every now and then, just when I think I am good! Thanks for sharing your story and the encouraging words!
What a beautiful word to read on a Wednesday morning. I feel my daughter could possibly struggle with these same issues…..her dad and I divorced when she was very young, and he is also fighting drug addiction. I get angry when I think that he chose drugs over his family, but for my daughter and myself to be reminded that Jesus CHOSE the Ultimate sacrifice!! We were and are saved by HIS choice and His amazing Grace. Thank you for sharing your heart with us.
I share a very similar story. Thank you for being brave enough to share.
Thank you for posting this! It’s something I struggle with as well. Thank you for sharing your heart and your beautiful art!
I have been reading your blogs for years. I often share your design inspiration with my FB Readers. But, nothing that I have ever read or shared means more than this post. I am up doing my morning reading and ran across this and I’m sitting here with tears pouring down my cheeks. Even though my story is different. Sometimes it’s the most refreshing thing in the world to know that others struggle with feeling like enough. That we are all human and fall short. But, that we all have the ability to go to the source for acceptance, reassurance and love. God Bless You as you have blessed me this morning. His Grace is Sufficient for us.
Thanks so much for this post! It echoes a lot of what I’ve been feeling lately. I’ve been realizing that my rest is not found in Jesus when I’m looking to others to accept me and give me worth. I was encouraged by your words this morning so thanks for sharing :)
Emily….I have followed you for a long time and this one brought little tears into my eyes. Your truth and willingness to share it is beautiful. One of my dearest friends experienced a similar adult child divorce and it has hurt her beyond her expectations. I look forward to printing these for her, and sharing your story to provide her comfort to know these feelings are real….and okay.
I hope your friend is encouraged in knowing she is not alone!