Keep up the good job and positive influence! I’m sure having four children can be stressful at times, but being a mom is worth it!

To start with I’d like to say I’m not the type of person who leaves comments on blogs or anything for that matter, but this posting just happened to land on my screen today after an incident just yesterday .
I’m a mother of “just” two, both older now (19 &16,and still in need of parenting),but this didn’t speak to me at first about my own kids or myself being a mother but it spoke to me because of a comment both my 89 year old grandfather made and the same comment repeated later by my own mother referring to my cousin who has three small children and had come by for a visit ( my grandfather lives with my mother and her husband) They both said referring to my cousin “ I don’t know how she does it with three small kids” It could have been said with admiration being meant but no, they both meant it in a more judgemental way. My first response to my grandfather, whose own mother had six children all in quick succession as was the norm “back then”, was to say “well, she does it like all mother’s ,one day at a time” and left it that. But when my own mother repeated that again ( to my daughter since my mother and I are not on speaking terms) I just couldn’t help but to really start fuming. Because the truth of the matter is she does most of it alone! Her own mother isn’t healthy enough to help. Her father and step-mother from what I understand help as little as possible, though they help her step mothers daughters quite often. My own mother is the type of grandmother that my brother and call “hand off” rather than hands on. It just seems to me that our older generation today is spending more time shaking their heads than trying to get in there to make a difference.The saying “It takes a village to raise a child” is sadly disappearing because that village just keeps getting smaller and smaller.
I could go on forever but I guess I’ll just leave it at that.

I just want to hug your neck! I can empathize with everything you wrote! I have 3 boys (7, 4 and 2) and a new little girl (7 mos)! I’ve had those looks. I’ve had the noisy women making rude or thoughtless comments. Oh man! I wish I could give you a hug! and applaud you all at the same time! Thank you for typing out what is on my heart so very often! Shared on FB!

this was so encouraging to me right now I needed to hear this…it made me feel human! My husband works 24s and sometimes 48s alot as a firefighter along with owning a sucessful metal fabrication business. I’m alone and on my own alot to, with two boys under 4. its hard and its stressful.” i get the whole are you going to try for a girl, im sure you would love to have one” Wether i had 15 boys or 15 girls i would still love them the same, of course we would love a girl on day, but that’s not our decision, it’s God and He gives us each child for a reason. My heart hurts for you, I hate when people are that way. But for what its worth i think your doing a great job!

I needed your words at this very minute. THIS VERY MINUTE. You have just described my own life/outings/struggles/parental desires with my own 4 babies (2girls, 2boys, ages 18 months to 9 years old). Except I’ve been sitting here tonight panicking over the fact that my #5 is due to come in the next 2 weeks, and I sit and wonder how on earth am I ever going to do this well? I had a man in church turn around after our services a couple weeks ago and say, “so you have 4 and are expecting another?” I was so afraid of what he was going to say, especially since my kids were not very quiet that particular day. But then he began to say how you don’t see very many big families anymore. He raised 9 children and said having a big family is one of the greatest blessings in life and to not forget it. I smiled and couldn’t figure out how to respond because I was concentrating so hard on fighting back the tears. I do wish more people would be understanding like this man was; it certainly helps make those days be a little brighter.

Oh Emily, I feel like you read my mind and heart in this post! I have three precious boys and a sweet little girl, same age as yours. They are a blessing to me every single day and yet it is hard – the hardest – work. You have described a scene from every week of my life! I strongly believe that God has specifically given me kids with unique gifts/challenges that test me in ways He knows need refining. My eldest has always been my most energetic. As I have worked hard to teach him self control I have realized over and over that I too need to practice self control in so many ways. My second boy is the most patient person yet is also the slowest person I’ve ever met! What a great chance to practice my own patience. God has specifically given me these children with these gifts and challenges and I am so very thankful for them – and the crazy chaos that comes along with them!

It may sound strange, but I am slightly jealous of your story. As crazy and frustrated I’m sure I’ll feel when I have kids who are embarrassing me, I can’t wait to have kids. It’s still a ways off for me, but when the day finally comes I cannot WAIT.
I’m glad you wanted to defend your children and weren’t wanting to apologize to that rude woman. Too many people get caught up in their lives and don’t stop to think about what others are going through. Thanks for the reminder to encourage a parent the next time I’m out, it’s not something I do enough.

Although I am replying a tad late and you may never read this I felt the need to respond. I can relate… also a Mom to 4 (three boys and a girl… although slightly different order as our G is #3) I have heard each of the comment you did at the restaurant. Oh my… I felt your feelings & had to giggle at are those kids all yours and you are brave… usually my response is yes I am a lucky lady and to the latter comment no, just lucky. My hubby also works quite a bit and I have always taken the kids in tow with me everywhere… it is just how it is and like you it can be hard but wouldn’t have it any other way.

Thanks for sharing this.

I cannot tell you how much of this I related to. You were describing in detail what my life once was. I too had four children, close in age. Like yours, none were actually planned, and I often had to look after them singlehandedly due to my husband’s schedule. But now they are grown, I can’t tell you just how much of a joy they are! What you are doing – tough though it is – is so worth it! Please be encouraged to keep doing what you are doing, knowing that what you are going through right now is just a season – it will pass all too quickly. Before you know it, they will be all grown up, and you will look back fondly on these years. I love all four of my children so much, and get so much joy from them, that I don’t regret or resent a thing. They are my life’s great work!

I just want to hug you and be your best friend! I get it. My mom plight is a big gap… and I am tired of people referring to him as an ooops!

I have five kids and a husband who travels and I can relate so well to your post. The children are SUCH a blessing but there are days when they may not appear that way to the general public. Nothing means more than a sweet smile from another mom rather than a judgmental glare when things aren’t going perfectly. I try to always smile at moms who are struggling in public because I’ve been there. Sometimes I just want to post a sign on my kids’ heads that warns people they’re still in training.

My mom (my sweet sweet mom) and I are raising my nephews……two wild, dirty, messy, busy boys. They’re full of life and love and mischief and have put more joy in my life than I thought possible and certainly more than I deserve. What a blessing!!

The boys (monsters, as we call them ) are 5 and 6. 15 months apart. They have both lived with us since they were born. I get quite a few disapproving glances when we are out and they’re being rambunctious…..I often wonder if it’s the lack of wedding ring on my finger that makes people upset. It used to bother me so much; I don’t care anymore. I know our family different. That’s okay with me. We do the best we can to do the right thing for our boys.

Of course, some people are absolutely wonderful! One of my favorite memories is a trip to Chick-fil-a (healthy, I know ) and the boys were small….one was still in an infant seat (WHERE did those days go???). We were leaving and I had Max on my hip and Will’s seat under my elbow and my purse, our food, my drink and my keys. Hands full. As I was trying to open the door by walking backward through it a man jumped up to help me and held the door. When I told him thank you he smiled and said, “I’ve been there. No problem.” I will never forget that and because of him will always make an attempt to help someone with full hands.

Your kids are loved and you and your husband put them first. How lucky they are! You’re doing an amazing job and I know your little ones will always feel God’s love through you . Well done!!!

Thank you Thank you Thank you with many tears Thank you for this post. I to have four little kids 5 and under. My Husband works out of town 5 to 10 days straight. He comes home for 3 and is gone again. We just moved to this area and I have yet to make any friends so there is little/no support. yet. This article, so well written, helped me today more than can be expressed. Many Thank yous.

You have no idea how perfect this was for me tonight. I’m a Mom of *only* two [4 1/2 year old boy, and 3 1/2 year old girl] and tonight was a rough one. My husband works nights and although we are “used to” his schedule, we [I] miss him terribly when he’s gone! I really feel like God touched my heart through this post and reminded me that although not each minute of each day runs as perfectly as I’d like it to… ya we order in pizza once a week, my son won’t touch any fruit or veggie but bananas, and my daughter acts like a cat one day and a horse then next… I was reminded that I’m not the only young mom in the world to feel like I’m not getting it all right. And the part about them teaching US – and seeing so much of us [the good and the bad] in them… that’s so scary to me and is such a wake up call! Thanks for taking the time to share your heart and for being so “real”! From the looks of the comments, I’m not the only one you’ve touched! Love you blog, and I don’t comment enough… but you are so very talented, and from the looks of it, you’re doing an amazing job as a mommy as well! Don’t forget, all that matters is at the end of the night, they’re fed, clean, and feel loved!

First, I think that people should applaud when they see you – mother of 4 and wife to a firefighter, and you touch the lives of so many women through your delightful blog. . Thank heaven for your family. People say the craziest things to parents about their children in public. I have one child, not 4, and if it helps I get the other side of the commments…. “You only have one?? Why?” or ” She must be lonely” or ” she won’t have anyone when she grows up” or ” I guess if you couldn’t have more children then you couldn’t really help it”… and on and on. Seriously people, worry about your own family.
Just keep on keepin’ on as they say and ignore people who think you want their opinion – haha!!
<3 mollie's mom

Thank you, from the bottom of my heart for posting this. I have two toddlers, while it’s nothing compared to your 4, it’s a lot. I work full-time, and I feel like somedays I’m barely hanging from a thread. This post is my lifeline this morning… I have a boy & a girl, and I get the ignorant comments saying “Oh! You have one of each, how perfect!” It wouldn’t make a difference if they were either or, I’m happy to have them and wouldn’t change it for the world. Trying to keep a clean & safe home environment, eating healthy, keeping presentable is so hard sometimes. But then you get tiny little moment sprinkled in that are absolute BLISS, those moments completely wash away any bad or annoying memories… Parenting is hard, and it’s nice to know that we are all imperfect & strive to do the best we can. <3

oh, i needed this. i just returned from a trip where i had to fly with my baby. each plane ride, i sat by the kindest MEN. Except on my last flight, i sat by two women who made whispering remarks about how “terrible” their day had become BECAUSE I WAS SITTING BESIDE THEM WITH MY BABY. i was too tired to say anything, but it was so discouraging. What made it worse is that after the 2 hour flight (in which my baby SLEPT through the entire flight), they began to tell me how wonderful he was. SERIOUSLY?!?!

I appreciate your insights and honesty. You’re right – our children, as precious as they are, certainly have a way of making us realize that we can’t take life too seriously. There will be spilled milk, boogers on our sweater, and frazzled trips to the grocery store, diner, and everything in between. However, I think it’s important we maintain our sense of humor, too. The lady in the pink sweater honestly meant no harm, no ill-intent, she was simply making conversation. You are brave to go it alone, but that’s what makes you an awesome mom. We can’t expect people to know exactly how we feel unless we decide to share our feelings with them, in an educational, enlighting manner. (For example, I really enjoy having my little boys and my daughter is just the icing on the cake!)

I’m not sure I agree that others should have sympathy on us, or even offer to help. It was our choice to have a large family – so with it comes the comments occassionally, that we brush off and look onward. Large families get to have the most fun at Christmas and vacations, and our houses will hopefully be blessed with lots of pitter-patters of our grandchildren. We may have it a little harder than those with just 1 or 2, but that’s a decision that every parent gets to make.

I saw your story on my phone during my break at work. I had to read it on 3 separate occasions to finish. I also a mom of 2 boys (3 and a wife, and preschool teacher of 20 4 and 5 year olds. I was also taking 2 classes at a university but had to stop it was just all too much.

I read your story and cried I think many moms are not appreciated and looked down on in society and I’m not sure why. Even as a preschool teacher I have had parents of my students at one time or another treat me unkindly because they demand my undivided attention at the door of the classroom while these lovely 20 children need me.

I think every mom has felt what you feel at one time or another. I admire you as a mom, I love your blog its my only quiet time most days. I myself have tried to hold the door for a mom with a stroller or her hands full or even a compliment on nice manners or even on a little girls cute sparkly shoes. Nice words make such a difference. I feel bad that you had that kind of day. Remember one day at a time right? Tomorrow will be better and all these comments to remind you people appreciate what you do.
thanks

Desirae

OMG, I LOVE this post!!!! I have two little boys (26 months apart) and they are a handful. If it was up to me I would have 4 kids! In a sick way I kind of love the craziness. haha! Actually, we’re thinking about starting to try for #3 right now…not that we really have to “try” either…but we’re planning. The bad/crazy times make the good times that much more enjoyable. And I believe that this pink sweater woman is so far from the stage we are in right now that she truly forgets. Agh! Honestly, I wonder what I’m going to do with myself when the kids are grown and out of the house. Yes, I have lots of hobbies that I don’t get to as much as I’d like, and my house isn’t as perfect as I’d like it but I think I’m going to feel lost in 15-20 years.

And you are right on…these kids have taught me SO much about myself. Thank you for the reminder….and it’s honesty like this that makes me want more kids. See…I do have a sickness! haha!

Thank you, thank you, thank you for this post. Motherhood is this giant balancing act and I wouldn’t trade a single open mouth kiss or tearful hug or screaming baby in the carseat or temper tantrum…these moments and so many others are what we as their mothers were designed for.

Dear dear Emily! Thank you so much for this sweet, honest, beautiful post! I wish so much sometimes that I could know you personally. I would love to give you a big hug right now!
I have a dear cousin who has seven – yes, I said seven – precious children and is expecting another. She has mentioned several ‘pink-sweater-women’ incidents that she has had, and how discouraging it can be. But she and her husband also get the ‘your children are so well behaved!’ comments, and those times are so encouraging. My mother and her father are brother and sister in a family of seven kids as well, and we believe that children are a blessing from God, as it says many times in the Bible. They are His reward!
His strength is there, and through it, my cousin and her husband are striving to raise their “full quiver” to become mighty men and valiant ladies for God’s kingdom and glory.
Take heart! Lean hard on the Lord when the bad days come, seek His help in raising your dear sons and daughter for His glory, and He will reward you!
Thank you again for this wonderful post!

Soli Deo Gloria!

-Kyrie<

P.S. My cousin has a blog as well and, in case you are interested in reading about some of her adventures, here is the link to it:
http://cottagecapers.blogspot.com/

I think what you are doing is great. You are an inspiration, I too never leave comments and I usually skim thorugh sites due to time limitations but I had to stop and say you are an inspiration. I am a pharmacist and my issue these days is how medicated middle aged “women” are. I have come to the conclusion that because of lack of communication(the real friendly type.. like a good heart to heart talk not a text) and the occasional frustrations of parenting and hormonal imbalances women (mothers) are so alone. Young moms are making or in the making of future genrations yet they are the most fragile people out there

OMG, this is so my life! Having children (especially multiple children) is more work than one can ever anticipate. I have three, and I have experienced everything you wrote about (and chronicle my maternal adventures and mis-adventures on my blog, http://www.littlemeems.com. It’s how I cope!). In my experience, women like the lady in pink are mothers with regrets. The mothers who project perfection are the mothers who wish they’d done things differently. I’ll trade happy noise and a little chaos any day over “perfect” children. Even when they’re embarrassing me. My children are well-behaved (most of the time – they’re kids!) and when someone tells me how brave I am, I think to myself (and have even said, on occasion) “Well, some people can handle it, and some people can’t. It’s really not that bad.” Kids don’t need perfect parents…they need to see that imperfection is OK. It’s what makes us who we are. It makes us interesting! Embrace it – life wouldn’t be nearly as interesting without it!

This was a great post and I loved reading the comments from other moms. People can’t help commenting on family size, spacing, etc. I have a 17-year-old son and a 7-year-old daughter and that definitely brings us some attention. Because my son has light eyes and hair unlike the rest of us, everyone assumes he is from another marriage (he’s even had people ask him about his dad and he’s awkwardly had to point out that he has the same dad as his sister!). There are plenty of comments and questions about the big age gap between our kids. If I’m in a good mood, I do the polite smile. If I’m feeling naughty, I might tell them the truth…that I had cancer and that’s why I couldn’t have kids for several years. That shuts them up. Mean, I know, but satisfying at times. Hee, hee. Anyway, we probably all need to remember that no matter if we have one kid or 20, we’re all moms and in this together.

I am also a mother of four and have three boys and my youngest is also a girl. I know how you feel. They have bad days when we are out and the youngest is kind of rotten because she has three big boys that let her have her way most of the time. I have experienced my fair share of the “hot pink” ladies, and I wish I had the nerve to just say, “leave me alone if you can’t be helpful”.

I’m late commenting, but I’m sending this post to my sister IMMEDIATELY! She has three little girls (4 and under), and she’s pregnant with their 4th… a little boy. She gets the “OH, you’re FINALLY getting that boy!” and other such comments ALL.THE.TIME. She tries so hard to be loving & Christ-like… but it’s so hurtful and discouraging. Thank you for sharing this… it was an encouragement to me as a Mommy of an almost 2 yr old & one on the way!!

I’m doing a horrible job of keeping up with my google reader, and with over 300 comments, I don’t know that you’ll read this anyway! But I just wanted to take a moment to say, I’m with you. I”m with you ALLLL over. I’ve said the same things myself – we MUST speak up and encourage each other. Don’t keep the thoughts to our selves. And HELP when the help is wanted and needed. I know there were times I was pleading on the inside for some help, and I only have two (that were 20 months apart – the first two years of that were quite challenging). You ARE doing a good job, Mom, and you are training them well. To learn, we must fail. And lastly, the “finally got a girl” comment burns me up, too!!! My grandmother acts this way – all of her great grandchildren have been boys, until my daughter. It infuriates me, and I”m sure my brother, that it as if the other lives God created didn’t matter as much because they are just ‘boys’. Grrrrrr.. I’m glad you chose to write all this and I appreciate you being transparent and sharing it.

I just read this post. I am the mother of 4 children, all adults now! We have three boys and a girl, yes, she is the youngest. I have also had to answer all the insensitive question, comments. Someone actually asked me if they all had the same father and if we were catholic. My best friend also has 4, and when together, someone asked if we were a daycare! Yes, 4 children are a lot, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Our house was always filled with friends, fun, noise, chaos and lots of love. Hug your children tight, they willbe gone all too soon!

Emily, I get so excited when I get an e-mail from you. You always have such good ideas and thoughts. I’ve behind in reading my e-mails due to a catastrophe in my house (water leak). I wanted to tell you that I come from a family of 5 girls. Same comments were made to my mom. “Well, I guess you never could get that boy!” After the 5th girls, I remember people asking her if they were going to stop trying. I have a sister that has 5 kids and another sister that has 7. When the 7th child was born with down’s syndrome, her mother-in-law asked her (while still in the hospital) if she would please tie her tubes. Horrible, just horrible. On another matter, when I receive your e-mails, I always click on the different links that you include. I don’t know if you knew this or not… but your link to the “speaker” in your church that day takes you to Peter Rollins website. While I was there, I clicked on the heading “The Contemporary Church is a Crack House”. Pretty good reading! Then, I started listening to the song that was included in that article. The “F” word was used over and over in the song. Very strange to me. I know you can’t police what goes on in other people’s websites and maybe you were aware of that song and the profanity. But, what I thought was going to be a sweet uplifting song quickly became the opposite. Just thought you might not be aware of what was on the other side of your link.

from another Mommy of four (3 handsome guys and then a little gal): You rock! I loved this article…especially the part about “you finally got your girl”. That drives me bananas! I also get a lot of “you sure have your hands full”, to which I reply “you should see my heart.”.

I should not have read this in public as it made me dash for my tissues for the tears because it was so good, and SO close to home!!

I too am a mother of three boys, then a daughter and that lady in a pink sweater has LoTs of faces! Like you, that wasn’t our goal, and I worried more about being a mom to a girl than I ever did to a boy. I had lots of experience with growing boys, but not girls. What a steep learning curve for me . I always feel bad for the other kids listening when people say thoughtless things like that…. Too bad the adults didn’t have a mother who cared enough to teach them kindness!

You brought back these memories…. I had been graduated from college several years before becoming a Mom but looked 16 or so (a looongg time ago ) and had to fly for several hours. When I boarded with my bag and 4 month baby, I had to ask to get by the business man in his suit sitting in the aisle seat. His angry look said more than he ever could have with words…not happy, expect crying etc. My son slept ate, we played games, I read to him, as planned. The only noise he made was laughing. When it was time for the man to get off he grabbed his bag, then bent over and very kindly said “You are a good Mom.” My tired mind and worried heart really appreciated those simple words!
Our babies are all 19- 26 now. At the last parent-teacher conference I went to, the first teacher proceeded to tell me my son was going to be a failure in life if he kept the trend up….at the time he had a B/C in this math class he hated (a/b in the rest of his classes) …and the teacher just kept ripping on my 17 yr old son who started his day at basketball practice, then worked his job at for two hours, then went to school, then went and worked on our house we were building, then went back to practice! From that teacher I went to a different son’s teacher who began with, “if I was a parent who cared….then proceeded to rip up that son (also an A/B student)! Neither teacher had kids of their own so were perfect parents maybe . Both of those son’s graduated from college with honors, one with a minor and major in 3.5 yrs, and both had jobs lined up upon graduation and I never went to another PT conference after these teachers.

I tried to learn from these adults and remember to say kind words to parents, and offer to help if I can. I wouldn’t trade being the Mom of four for anything, and understand how hard it can be. Your kids are lucky to have a Mom who cares!

Thanks for sharing!
Sharon
dexterdays-sdk.blogspot.com

Thank you SO much for this post. I stumbled upon your blog following a pinterest link of free printables… and now I am in total awe of you. I can’t stop reading all your posts, but this one especially really hit close to home. I have three children, twin 3 year old boys and a 1 year old girl. I can’t even tell you how often I hear the “thank goodness you got your girl so you don’t have to have more kids” comments, and I know I don’t have to tell you the exact number because you clearly understand. I love knowing there are other moms out there who think, feel and act just like me. This post helps keep my head on straight. Thank you so much for taking the time to “journal” for all of us. I now feel empowered to get through the rest of the day.

Oh Emily, You took words out of my mouth! It is hard work. I too am a mom of 4 children (1 boy and 3 girls, our son is the oldest) ages 5, 3 1/2, 2, and 8 months! I think what gets to me most is when people say “Oh my you’ve got your hands full” or “How do you do it?” or “that’s just crazy”. Oh I fume alright. But I’m quick to remind myself (ok, ok I’m not so quick all the time, lol) that God is gracious and blesses me time and time again. I wouldn’t EVER trade them for anything or anyone. And quite frankly I LOVE THEM TO PIECES! Some days are a walk in the park (the days that no one spills, or all 4 take a nap at the same time etc.). Other days, I wish I were a turtle… I’d tuck my little ol self in and let the world pass me by! Yes, there are days that are just that hard! Thank you for this post. I want to print it (and all these wonderful comments too) and frame it so that I can remember that I’m certainly not the only mom doing her best… and feeling that sometimes it’s just not good enough. But, then again, we are our worst critics!!! Power to you mommy of 4 from a mommy of 4 all the way in Hawaii!!!

Thank you so much for writing this and sharing your thoughts. It is so refreshing to hear that other families and mothers in particular feel the same way sometimes. I am a mother of three (8,5,3) and I work full time and commute 2 hours a day for my work. LIfe is busy and some days are harder than others but at the end of the day when they all give me a big hug and kiss and say, I love you, mom, I know everything will be ok. I have learned the past few years to take it one day at a time and always reminding myself that the Lord will take care of us. God bless all the mothers and fathers who work hard to raise amazing children in this crazy and busy world.

As many others, this really hit home for me… I am a mother of 3 (13,12, and 7). I also work full time..I don’t want to, but one income doesn’t cut it right now. I can relate to taking all the kids somewhere by yourself, it can be overwelming, detracting, frustrating.. but like you said, they need to know how to behave in public and you want to do fun things with them. Mine are a little older now, but I feel like the older they get, the harder it is to be a parent. Also, you said “..I see my behavior, my words, my food preferences, my mannerisms reflected right back to me through them. And I don’t always like what I see.” This made me sad, because I don’t always have it to together, I can be lazy, short tempered, slacking on meals.. and I don’t want to be that way. :/ I feel like working full time isn’t the best thing for our family, but we need 2 incomes… I hope to work from home someday soon. Not sure what I will do yet… something creative.
You inspire me, being a young mother with multiple children, like me, and working from home, all you’ve accomplished. It makes me hopeful. Thank you for this blog.

Emily, I’m kind of embarrassed to be writing this with tears in my eyes (especially since I haven’t even finished reading this post) but you’ve just hit on soooo many things that a mom balances. We try and sometimes we don’t do what we believe is our best but we try and we love our little ones and our husbands and our little (or big) families and we pray and we try some more and… and it’s not always easy. You captured a moment that every mom has had to experience – the unsolicited comments from an insensitive bystander critiqing our delicate balance of mothering. it hurts but, you’re right, she probably didn’t even realize how hurtful she was being. You handled it with grace and patience and THAT is what was truly BRAVE. Good for you. You get an AWESOME MOM MOMENT award! Thank you for sharing. – b

Same here. Honestly, there isn’t much anyone can say to me when I’m out in public with my kids that I don’t take offense to, unless of course they do offer encouragement or give assistance. I’m just that “high strung” when I’m out with them. I must relate this quick story, because its a feel gooder and it meant the world to me. When I my 2 oldest were toddlers and I was expecting #3 I took a plane trip without my husband. I knew that it could be a crazy, miserable experience for everyone on board so months ahead of time I began micromanaging the trip. I talked to my boys about what to expect, every step of the way and I had various treats or activities that they could have at specific times. The trip went PERFECT. Not a single meltdown. They even laid down and slept right when I told them to. Now for the best part. We got off the plane and as I was packing my boys up–on in the stroller one in a carrier someone tapped my shoulder. He said, ” I sat behind you that entire trip and I have to say that it such a relief to see a woman who knows how to be a mother.” I am not sure how I responded, but I felt like I had just been the given the gold star of a lifetime. Honestly the stress of the whole trip just came to a head and held back tears on my way to baggage claim. Funny, a calm and uneventful trip for everyone else is a ton of work for mom!! Anway, I don’t always live up to that compliment, but it feels good that at a time when I put so much effort into something my success didn’t go unnoticed. In contrast, the man right next to me complimented my kid’s on their good behavior and I thought, “do you have any idea what I’ve been doing for the last 2 months just to accomplish this?” I mean, my kids did do great, but I appreciated the gentlemen giving mom a pat the back too. We need it!