I’ll be 35 in just a few weeks. I don’t have any problems with the age, per say. I live a fairly typical 35-year-old life, and a pretty good one at that. From the outside, I look, talk, live like a woman in her mid 30’s.
What I’m concerned about is that maybe on the inside I’m not where I picture a girl my age to be.
Confident. Graceful. Sure. Settled.
In my mind, a 35-year-old doesn’t worry about what others think. She isn’t insecure. She isn’t confused or weak and certainly doesn’t question where she’s headed. She’s got her act together and is the picture of ladylike poise.
And yet, here I sit, 3 weeks away from that confident, graceful, sure and settled ideal feeling so very far from it.
I wrote a post about twirling – that act of pushing off everything that hinders {insecurities, failures, aspirations} and dancing through life knowing that we are loved. Not because we are doing everything right, or because we have it all together, but because He first loved us. It’s so much less about the actual dancing {a cheesy metaphor for doing life} and more about the heart in knowing we are delightfully and perfectly made, just as we are.
It originated as a prayer for my daughter and has become my motto in life as well.
Twirl.
So this is what bothers me: I’m nearly 35, certainly old enough both in years and in my own personal faith in Jesus to get this. To live this. To let go of those stupid insecurities about not being good enough, pretty enough, talented enough … and just believe what I know to be true: that we are each exceptionally talented, created for a unique purpose and most of all, accepted through grace just as we are and not for who we ought to be.
I’ve been in a weird spot over the past six months or so not really sure of where I’m headed. What are my goals? Where do I see JDC going? What is my dream of all dreams? It’s all been a bit cloudy and unclear and so I found myself looking around at what others were doing thinking maybe that’s where I would find the answers.
She’s writing a book. I should write a book!
She’s selling all of her possessions and touring the country. I should do that!
She’s {fill-in-the-blank}, I should {fill-in-the-blank}!
Unfortunately, all this did was perpetuate my confusion and bury me further in the comparison pit {a place I know all too well}.
I’ve spent these past few months quietly praying, looking for clues, waiting and waiting and the clearest answer came from the oddest of places: The Wonder Pets.
We were in the car and the little kids were watching an old episode about a baby swan who was supposed to dance for the big party but he was afraid because he didn’t have the same graceful moves as the other swans on Swan Lake {do you remember this one?}. The Wonder Pets, in their darling animated wisdom, give baby swan the encouragement he needs to do it his own way. To dance with his own moves. And own it.
I sat in the driver’s seat, not seeing the movie, but hearing the whole thing being played behind me and it spoke right to my heart. All these fears about not being good enough, not doing it right, unsure, unsettled, afraid of what others will think – all of it is just time I’m wasting. I’m hiding under a silly bucket like baby swan watching everyone else do their lovely moves feeling like mine could never be enough.
It was then that I heard this little whisper in my soul: Emily, do your thing.
That’s it.
Just do your thing.
That’s the answer. And it’s ridiculously simple.
Twirl.
Twirling is about unashamed dancing. It’s about delighting in our femininity. It’s about accepting God’s absolutely profound love and finding freedom. But it’s also about just doing our thing. Not only being who we are, but actually celebrating who we are. It’s a quiet confidence. Graceful presence. Living out our unique talents, seeing the beauty within each of us and sharing it with one another.
And the best thing about it is that there is no magical age when it appears. I’ve been wrong all this time about that. This confidence, grace, assuredness, is available to all of us, at any age, for as long as we choose.
I love that.
I’ll be 35 in a few weeks and while I am not the picture of confidence and maturity that I envision, I feel like I’ve made a big step in that direction. I’m so tired of the insecurities. I don’t want to live with this ugly striving and unsettled discontentment. I want the freedom to do my thing. As clunky as it may be or as graceful as it be become, I just want to be who God made me to be, share my life, love well.
I want to twirl.
Be encouraged, wherever you are today, that you are wonderful. You are uniquely talented. You are valuable. And because of Jesus’ great love for you, you are deemed enough.
Now just do your thing.
I’m so grateful for these thoughtful posts as I ponder the bigger picture of my life and seek out the solitude and confidence that comes from being right with God. Thank you so much for sharing!
as i read this, i thought about shauna’s talk at hope spoken. “should” and how it’s a warning sign that we are moving away from our truest selfs. YOU have your thing girl, you are twirling! OWN IT! love you :)
Beautiful. I loved it!
Just coming back to this post, knowing I needed to read it when I had a chance to really absorb it. I’ve struggled recently as all my three will be in school full time next year (gulp). I thought I had another two years but our district just went to full day kindergarten!! Treasuring my time with Kate even more now!! My problem is, I feel like I’ve been drawn to going back to work for some time now. However, I still want to be home for my kids when they get home from school, etc. I’ve struggled with feeling like how the heck will I find a job when I’ve been out of the work-force for almost 10 years!!! ….feeling not smart enough, not good enough, not experienced enough….and even if I was…pretty sure I wouldn’t go back to what I was doing before. So where does that leave me? Constantly comparing myself to others and their advanced careers, successful home businesses, numerous talents, and depth of their spiritual walk. I too, don’t feel like I’m the confident, assured, ‘twirling’ almost 35 year old I should be. All that said, I am excited for what the Lord has for me in the years and new seasons ahead. No point to my comment other than it’s nice to know someone who I would consider to have a successful business and assured confidence, actually still struggles with the same! :) Hugs, Emily!
I completely understand. I have a few years on you and I wish I could say it makes a difference in terms of questioning but it doesn’t. In some ways, it is a good thing – it helps us stay fresh. But it’s important to not confuse who we are even as we re-invent what we do. I just blogged about this the other day, too, and did a calligraphy piece reflecting what my husband said, “be who you are and it will be alright.”
You may still have insecurities (we all do) but you are full of grace and you reflect that grace to all around you. It shines bright from you and your blog.
I remember that twirl post. Loved it. Might have been the post that made me want to keep checking in over here. If it’s any encouragement, I’m finding that more freedom comes as you approach 40. I’m an old soul, so I thought I’d be all that I wanted to be at 35. Ha! But Jesus keeps changing me. “Twirling” me. {Wink!}
i found your blog over the weekend & had a look around discovering the twirl post because my granlove twirls A LOT :-) it’s one of the things i find dear about her. i couldn’t read it because it was too hot…like a lightbulb just turned off that you have to wait till it cools before touching it. several months ago my hubby & i were on a long drive & began talking about the disappointments we feel as life has not gone as we hoped & planned. we each took a turn answering the question, “if you could be/have have anything what would you want?” my answer astounded us both when i said i want to stop being afraid. some years ago a series of events left us broken and deeply wounded. i became afraid of everything & tried to micro manage life to make it safe. i wrongly assumed that God had handed me a life i didn’t want and that was it so accept it & wait for heaven. my life was still very beautiful,(ESPECIALLY to onlookers) albeit different. through a Bible study this summer He took me back to some hard things from my childhood…& at first i scolded myself for being ridiculous but He wanted to show me i had quit dancing. one morning weeks later He asked me to dance again. i was timid, embarrassed & thought it was fruitless to think about long ago injuries/misunderstandings. i’ve had a rich, happy & blessed life yet He persisted and then confirmed it twice. i know that when i hear the same message 3 times i had better sit up & listen so when i turned to your twirl post i froze. several times i tried to read it but after a few days i dismissed it, again. until yesterday when i opened this. i have been overwhelmed by joy since the summer day He invited me to dance but then i back away due to fear…of looking silly, not trusting Him or my heart, being afraid to believe in a happy future. but then this post sealed the deal and i will (metaphorically of course!) take my partner’s hand. emily, i will be 60 in a couple of weeks. be you, em. let your heavenly father delight in you. tell all your 30somethings to just be…& btw…you don’t even BEGIN to figure these things out until your 40s ;-)
Suzi,
Thank you for sharing your heart. I just love when things are confirmed over and over … why do we still question? Well, we just do. I’ll be praying for you and hope that as you trust, your fears will gently fade. XO.
I am 32 and I very much feel like this. The world wide web and all it’s wonders has given us a peep hole into so many talented others lives that not only do we compare ourselves to people we know in “real” life, but to thousands of strangers who seem to be more talented/beautiful/organized/confident than us! We don’t twirl…we spiral downward. But how grateful am I for the reminder to dance with Joy in the love of our Savior. That he has created me, ME. Not Sally, Suzie or Emily :).
Just me. When I revel in that thought….and let my self absorbed mine marinate instead in His promises…it’s enough to make me want to borrow my daughters TUTU and dance around the kitchen.
You are so right! Those little peeks are never the whole story.
A few weeks ago I read this on another blog and copied it down to save it. It might resonate with you, too :)
Avoid comparison. You are enough. End of story. That girl over there… you don’t want her life. Because you don’t have the grace for it. You have the grace for yours. You don’t have her kids, her job, her talents, her hubby, and her network FOR A REASON. Because you are needed right where you are at.. by Your kids, Your job, Your hubby and YOUR network! Do what you can, with what you have… right where you are at! And be grateful.. Always be grateful. What you are taking for granted, someone else is praying for.
Amen, right?!
This is so good. I don’t have the grace to go through what anyone else is facing … just my own mess. Thanks for the great reminder!
thanks for this post (which I didn’t read until today) – really spoke to me & recent feelings. :) thank you!
Wow Emily as shown by the comments and my own heart you have definitely hit the nail on the head! I turned 35 a few weeks ago and have been struggling with many of these same things for about a year now, well longer really but really examining it for that long. I am still looking for who God wants me to be, and mourning the death of the dreams that will never be so that I can move forward. I realized that life has taken me in a different direction and until I can move past the old vision of my life I won’t be able to move in the direction that He wants me to. So while I wait I’ll TWIRL!
I know I am a day late on this response but I have been thinking about it a lot. I am 37 and feel this way all of the time. People often say, “you don’t seem insecure” but inside we all struggle with insecurities ( I love SO LONG INSECURITY by Beth Moore ). On another note – I think it is okay not to do what everyone else is doing. If that baby swan didn’t want to dance that should be okay. Maybe she would rather sew the costumes for the other swans or open a concession stand with her fresh baked cookies :)
I didn’t get to have any babies but I sure do throw a lot of baby showers!
You do so much more in this world than you realize. Look how many hearts you touch daily. Go celebrate!
Thank you Emily for putting a voice to the very struggle that has been at the forefront of my mind of late. I am 47 years old and have grandchildren and I still struggle with finding what it is that makes me tick. I too have “tried on” the characteristics in others I find attractive and darn it if they don’t always fit. I have decided that knowing myself and being comfortable in my own skin will not happen if I view myself through the world’s eyes, and compare myself to celebraties and dream of what I don’t have. It is only through viewing myself as a child of God that the peace and comfort I seek will find me…
Thank you for reminding me that I can shed the things that are not serving me well and focus on the one who loves me unconditionally. You are a gem!!
Wow! Wow! Wow! Your transparency is healing and fresh! I believe you just ‘twirled’! I heard of an interaction between a senator and Mother Theresa recently and he questioned her as he was looking at all the devastation around him. He asked, ” How can a person like me make a difference when there’s so much hurt?” Mother Theresa’s response was, “just do what’s in front of you”. If we all took care of the things in front of you then it might not be so overwhelming to figure out what our next step should be. Your birthday explains why I think I’ve always related to you so much…we’re the same age!
Very well said. I believe most women feel exactly that at various times in our lives. It is my experience that our honesty in sharing what is really going on in our hearts is what draws people out. In admitting our own “realness” we show others that it is okay to admit theirs, and that is where barriers are broken and bonds are built.
Your blog inspires many of us to embrace our God-inspired desire to add beauty to our lives (He is the ultimate artist, after all) and your willingness to admit you struggle with the same things we all do only makes you seem more like the girlfriend next door. Happy Birthday Emily!
So beautifully said, Emily! And yes, I still feel like a 16 year old a lot: unsure, insecure, and just wanting people to like me.
I will say, I have started to see glimpses of caring less what people think, and I hope that it does get better with age, because I love the freedom it brings!
Thanks for your honesty and vulnerability.
Yes, I’m with ya… all of these things. And I’m way padt my 30s. ;)
Thank you so much for being so very honest! I feel this way so often and it’s nice to know I’m not alone. Thank you thank you thank you from my heart to yours!
Dear Emily,
While I was writing a book for the past five years, you were blogging. I watched your business grow and your innate talent displayed for the world to enjoy. I was so happy for you, and I told all my friends about you. Still, I had to keep reminding myself that I was a writer, not a designer or blogger. I did not need to do the same thing Emily was doing. But then I had to start a blog to market my book (funny), and you helped me with The Blog Class. You have helped so many people with your God-given gifts in design, as well as your insight and honest heart–and the smarts of a businesswoman. You are an excellent writer. Plus, you have two million eager readers of your book if you were to write one. Have you seen my posts on How to Start Writing About Your Life? I want to read your book, and I know you could do it if God is calling you to do it. But if he is calling you to something else, I know you will succeed in whatever you commit to Him. You are so smart and beautiful and you always have been. Love you :)
Love this post! I believe it speaks to so many of us. I turn 37 in October and constantly find myself reverting back to teenage insecurities and comparing myself to others. The important thing is that we catch ourselves having these thoughts and try to correct them. I am a work in progress and will probably be for many years to come. I constantly tell myself that I want my children to have a strong, confident role model and that helps me to keep improving myself even if I am not where I thought I would be.
Love this post. I find myself “shoulding” all over myself all the time. I have felt this way at various stages in my life- where life has not turned out as I had planned and I have an empty feeling. I turn 37 this October and I am constantly having to remind myself not to compare myself to others, etc. I think what matters is that we are conscious of it and working on it. I think I will be a work in progress for quite a while. But, Imagine how miserable we would be if we did not have realizations like yours to wake ourselves up!! Keep twirling girl!
I’m 48 years old and have spent the last 17 years or so in a field and in a job that I don’t love. In fact, I downright hate it most days. It sucks the life right out of me. I stay, in large part, because I am a single mom and I have two kids who count on me to provide for them. Be grateful that you are already doing something that you enjoy and are able to earn a living with your creativity. Because that is my dream, to earn a living using my creativity. And, it is so hard to do when there is no husband here to support me in my dreams. Be grateful you have a husband who supports you in your dreams. I try to do creative things when I can and I try, every day, to be grateful for my job and know that, at least, it affords me flexibility to spend time with my kids and a good income to provide for them.
Oh how I loved and NEEDED this post. God’s timing is good, and this spoke straight to my heart. Thank you that you not only share your love and talent of designs and creations and projects, but that we get to know and hear the heart behind it all. Makes those prints so much more meaningful ;). You continue to inspire me in my own creativeness. Thank you also for your honesty in your posts like this-I would have never thought someone who has it so “together” and such a beautiful person inside and out would struggle with things like these insecurities. Thank you for your transparency.
*short (not sorry)
I’ll be 35 in two weeks and just found out last week that I’m (surprise!) pregnant with #4. I cried on and off all week just from the shock of starting all over with baby stuff. I was feeling settled and secure with older kids. Then this morning, I receiveda call that a friend’s husband unexpectedly passed away last night. A strong reminder that life is too sorry not to fully embrace it and make it count. I choose to twirl.
I just love this post. Thanks for you honesty. I too am turning 35 in a few weeks and there are days I don’t feel old enough to be a mother of three, five and under. Life feels more like a whirlwind – but I’d so much rather be twirling.
I can’t tell you how much I admire your honesty. I have felt this way, too, for the past few years, but lately I have just been going for it and being “me.” Thanks for the encouragement and the insight.
I was aghast as I read this, Emily, because — to me– YOU are the one who knows what you’re doing, has embraced your creativity, and is soaring! I’ve been wrestling for several months about my own blog, it’s direction, its meaning to both me and my readers. Thank you for sharing encouraging words for those us struggling to “do our thing.” :)
xo Heidi
We must have very close birthdays . . I turn 35 on Sept 23 of this year. I have four little boys . . the oldest will turn 9 this week. I echo your thoughts in this post. You have an excellent blog. I appreciate your lovely style but also how you keep it real!
My 30th birthday was a little over a month ago. I always thought the ‘big 3-0’ would be some sort of pivotal step into becoming the graceful, confident and put together woman I thought I would become. The mature believer, mother and wife God had always planned for me to become. While I am proud to be the best mother possible for my little girl, I feel as though I forget to be the best wife. My education has well exceeded my goals, and my career is on it’s way(save a few miracles that need to occur), but my relationship with the Lord I feel needs to mature so much more. There is always a constant struggle with forgiveness. I just do not feel like that woman who’s just got it together. Add the normal craziness of life, and a remodel we are living in and poof.. chaos at its best.
I always worry if who I am is enough. For my family, for my daughter, my husband…and most importantly HIM.
How am I to know that what I am doing is the right path? How am I supposed to know how to forgive? And sometimes, I fear that I am not enough for the Grace I am given. That I am not giving HIM the grace and glory he deserves.
Whew. We women just can’t be easy on ourselves, can we? I loved what an earlier commenter said about our insecurities drawing us to the Lord. So true, if we’ll only look at our “imperfections” as little crevices that only He can fill instead of shoving more accomplishments and embellishments into them so the world won’t see. Not that I would ever do any such thing. *Ahem.
Oh, and the print is lovely. About three years ago, I ordered a name print from you for my little girl, Adelaide’s, nursery, but I’m thinking I need the Twirl one now that I’m finishing up her big girl redo.
Good grief time flies (and apparently, I’ve been reading your blog for a long time!).
Keep twirling and giving the glory to Him, and He will make your paths straight.
Lovely post, Emily. It helps to be reminded that we are all splendidly imperfect and the best thing we can aim for in this life is to show up for our piece of it and do our dance. Elizabeth Gilbert (author of Eat, Pray, Love) gave a beautiful talk at TED that speaks a tiny bit about the same topic (toward the end of her talk…when she mentions the dancers). You would enjoy it, I think…
http://www.ted.com/talks/lang/en/elizabeth_gilbert_on_genius.html?wwparam=1378751823
Emily, I LOVED your post today. I had a really hard time turning 30 last year and overall, it was a hard year for me personally. I will be turning 31 in October and I know it will be a better year for me than 30 has so far. But I am so in that same boat…I feel like I should be a certain way by my age. That my life should be a certain way and parts of it have crashed down around me. I look around at what others my age are doing and get down on myself for not being enough in ___ (whatever category it is). Your post today really spoke to me. That I am enough and that God made me the way he did for a reason and I have lots of share with others…in my own special unique way. Thank you for opening up and sharing today. You are an inspiration to those around you!!
What a beautiful post! You said so wonderfully all those thoughts, feelings, and attitudes that have swirled in my mind the past several years, and gave perspective in light of God’s truth. I am inspired, in my late 30’s, to embrace who I am in Jesus, what I am and where I am, without running down the road of comparison that somehow always dead ends in insecurity and discontent. Thank you for your honesty…..may others be encouraged to appreciate those girl friends in our lives, the beautiful ones, the accomplished ones, the successful ones, but also celebrate in ourselves God’s stamp of creativity, loveliness, and ability beyond what we ever dreamed!
At 51, I still feel that way sometimes. I have decided though to let the feeling of not being “there” yet to bring inspiration to continually pursue my dreams. I think we naturally watch those who have confidence and clarity about what they are doing. The sad thing is, we are not privy to their insecurities and questions they ask themselves when they are alone. I think there are several things we can do for ourselves and for others…cut each other some slack, appreciate each others’ creativity instead of being afraid or jealous of it, and celebrate when good things happen to other people. If I have learned one thing, it is that gratitude and thankfulness for where you are at the moment is so good for me and keeps me out of the questioning and doubting periods. TWIRL!!!! Love it!
Beautifully written. And exactly what I needed to hear today, so thank you! I feel exactly the same way- more times than I care to admit! I hate that as women we compare ourselves so much, when we were created to be unique, to stand out and dance to the beat He put in our hearts. Thank you for always encouraging and inspiring here on your blog!
Well said! I am 37 and still struggle with comparison and insecurity, but still learning about myself daily. I just want to enjoy life, make a difference and remember to “twirl”!! I hope you can do the same!
I’m trying not to cry as I’m at work right now ! I usually don’t read your blog till later in the evening when I can really enjoy it – but for some reason I opened it up today. . and I think God had you write this for me!! I was just writing in my journal this morning about everything you had mentioned, and why had it just changed in this last 6 monthes for me – what did I do and what does this mean?
And thinking that it was some kind of crazy I had made up and I just finally asked God to help. And he gave me this.
Thank you . . .Thank you. . Thank you. .
I too will be 35 in 3 weeks…I think on the same day as you…and I have been thinking about almost this very same thing recently. I’ve been wondering if I am going to “come into my own” and finally feel at peace with who I am, the shape of my body (after bearing 3 children), and not worrying so much about what others think about my parenting. I know I do feel more confident than I did in my twenties about many decisions I make. I want my children to know a confident mother who trusts the Lord and knows who she is in Jesus…I’m working at that all the time!
I love this post…so much! I have a few years on you and I struggle with a lot of the same things. Your thoughts have inspired and touched me today. Thank you for sharing!
I am approaching 45 :), and sometimes still feel this way. Sending my last son off to kindergarten has me too thinking of life’s direction and feeling a bit–well “directionless”. So, I enjoyed reading your post today. As always, enjoy your art.
Perhaps you’ll find some inspiration in a poem I wrote last Friday. I wrote it for my boys. But after reading your post today, I find myself wondering if it was truly meant for me. Thanks for sharing.
http://suebthefoodie.com/2013/09/06/2896/#more-2896
We all feel this way of insecurity no matter what age or season of life we are in here on earth. I think it is God’s way of drawing us to Him so that we seek our security in Him alone, and that we will not truly be ALL that He has made us to be until we are finally Home with Him and see Him face to face.
I think that’s a really good point. If we get too confident, we think we’re doing it on our own strength …
Agreed
Oh thank you for your openness and honesty. I just turned 40 this year and just starting a homemade home accessories business. The insecurities and indecisiveness are running a muck in my head. There are days that “spin” so much that feel like a limp noodle. When I say “spin” it is nothing like your definition of “twirl”, its all fear, anxiety, and perfectionism making me spin into a complete stall. Thank you for the reminder to just be me the God created me to be. Praise God for YOU!!!! Happy Twirling!!!
I was casually checking my email on my phone while waiting in line at Target and clicked on your post and could not wait to get home so I could finish reading it! I don’t comment very often but I felt the need to do so today because I felt so connected to what you were saying and whether you believe it or not you inspire people every day with your blogs and your amazing prints! I aspire to run a business like yours and it amazed me that someone that seems to kind of have it all would have the same issues that I have with confidence! Thank you so much for your honesty! please know that you are an inspiration to many of us that follow your blog:)
Wow, I needed to hear this today and it so resonated with me. Today is my birthday actually and I’ve been feeling the exact same thing. It’s not that I feel old or that I feel like I should’ve accomplished more by this age, but lately I’ve felt that something has been missing. I’ve done exactly as you said and compared myself to all of these other bloggers and business owners and thought, that’s what I should be doing! I was at Haven several weeks ago and I came to the exact realization you just had, “Do my thing my own way!” Since then, I’m mostly on that journey, but I have days of comparison and doubts. Today was one of those as I start this new year, am reflecting on the last, and dreaming for the future. Thank you so much for the encouragement to go do my thing!!! Can’t wait to meet you at allume :)
Thank you so much for your post today …. It’s exactly what I needed to hear coming from someone else. I too am so GUILTY of comparing myself to others (honestly did it while reading your post … “She’s almost 35 & look at what’s she’s done … What have you done?”). I’ll be 34 this november so 35 is creeping up kinda quickly. It was beyond nice & encouraging to hear I am not alone in what I feel at times. I thank you for being so honest & open. I look forward to your posts everyday & keep most of them to re-read. Have a wonderful day!
Beautifully said. Every woman needs to read this. Actually, I would have benefited from reading this in middle school — the WORST of the insecure years.
God bless. And keep twirling!
TOTALLY!
Trust me, I am in tenth grade and I am so thankful for this blog and the encouragement that it has been for me. Middle school and high school are definitely hard years for us girls because that is when we start to feel a lot of insecurity. I have put different reminders throughout my school things such as writing the word “twirl” in my folders or putting encouraging quotes on my locker, and it really does help me throughout the day! I just want to say a huge thank you to you, Miss Emily, for the example that you are to girls and women all around the world! I really appreciate the time and the effort that you put into this blog. Even though you admit that you are not perfect, you still strive to be the best person you can be. I am so thankful for the way that God is using our life and I just want you to know that He is working through you to bless others’ lives every day.
I’m reading the book Daring Greatly by Brene Brown- I HIGHLY recommend this book to you, because it sounds like you are exactly where I was at the beginning of reading it. She addresses these issues and so much more!
Thank you so much for your post! Let us all twirl!
Thank you for speaking such truth. I’m still figuring out what “my thing” is, but it’s so easy to fall into the comparison trap. Thanks for the reminder to look within and twirl!
Oh Emily. I’m about to turn 30 and feel exactly the same way. Shouldn’t I be more confident and secure? Sometimes I certainly don’t feel my age. Thanks for the reminder of the freedom in God’s love and celebrating our unique selves. Love to you!
Recently I feel like I’ve been on such a similar path as the one you described, wondering,, watching, waiting, second-guessing, praying… I love the imagery of twirling, and the simplicity of the message to just do your thing. Time and time again I’ve seen someone’s “thing” which may not seem very special or significant be just what someone else needed. God is always at work in and around us, thanks for being part of that with your message today.
I loved this post. I keep expecting to wake up one of these days and be the faithful, trusting, consistent, loving, forgiving, grown-up woman I always pictured myself to be. What a surprise it has been that there is no magical age where I will be all that God wants me to be and I will have to continue to work at it every day for the rest of my life.
p.s. Has anyone recommended to you the book “Edenbrooke” by Julianne Donaldson? Sort of a modern Jane Austen-ish type book. The heroine does a good bit of twirling and this post made me think of it. Excellent book for a rainy afternoon since I know you have *tons* of down time :)
I’ve heard of the book and will definitely add it to my list!
I really needed that today…this week…this month. I have been have the same exact feelings.
Thank you for sharing.
I just recently found your blog and I think it was God ordained that I did! I have struggled with trying to find myself for years. I know I am a daughter of God. I know I am a precious creation, but I just can’t stop comparing myself to others. I lack a HUGE amount of joy in my life because I always want to be like someone else. Heck, I honestly coveted your life and your abilities. This post put it all into perspective. I DO NOT have to be like someone else….I just need to allow Christ to use me in a way that only I can be used. It may not be as pretty as I may like or as creative, but it will be me and I can “twirl” with that!
Love and blessings, Emmary
I am THRILLED with this print! I loved your original “Twirl” post, such a wonderful reminder as a woman, and now a mom to a daughter. I can’t wait to hang this print in her room!
Love your honesty, Emily! I’m not quite to 35 yet, but seeing women like you live it so gracefully is encouraging :).
I had a pretty major life changing breakthrough that led to my lawyer husband going to seminary…. Via an episode of Bob the Builder. Seriously. The Lord will use whatever it takes to make His way clear to us- such a beautiful and humbling truth!
We all strungle with insecurities, because life is made of choices, so we always question ourselves if we made the right one and that goes for everything.
I had a pretty bad childhood when it comes to insecurities as I was heavily bullied. It turns out that helped grow my confidence and I learn how to just do my thing. So much so, that now a face the opposite reaction from people. They thing it is strange that I really don’t care about what others think. And I really don’t. As long as I’m not doing anything God will disaprove, I don’t care. I just twirl, or hop, or dance in the car. One of the things that I enjoy the most by having little kids is that I just let myself be. I rejoice in their innocence and spontaneously. And when I wonder what God wants me to do, I just think that for what now I’m doing what he wants. I’m learning more everyday that we need to be humble and sometimes we don’t need to do anything fantastic, or outrageous. It is hard enough just being ourselves and doing our thing.
I love, love, love your blog. So don’t change! Thanks for making this print available. I’ll cherish it for a long time.
Becky, you sound like such a truly wonderful person! You’re comment helped me to remember to just be me as well :) I’ve often rejoiced in my children’s ability to remind me to just be me – twirl, dance, and sing loudly in the car or wherever. Before them I would have always wondered who might be watching, how silly I would look, or the fact that I am an absolutely horrible singer! My kids think I’m beautiful though and the best singer ever. What a great reminder of God’s glory, and his gifts to me through my children. Let’s twirl today and EVERY day! :)
you are not alone in your thoughts. so all i have to say is, “let’s twirl!!” :)
Well said Emily! Approaching birthday number forty-eight I still don’t know what I want to do when “grow up”. And, after a very tumultuous meeting and vote at our Church yesterday I felt further away from our Father then I ever have. I needed your words today to remind me that I am worthy and He does have a plan for me. But in the meantime I am perfect just the way I am!
Amen, Emily! Thank you for being honest and transparent. You put into words what we all feel!